Broke up 2 weeks ago, no contact on either side

[pozcarry]

I dated this girl for 2 months and we had a lot of good times together. She's very old fashioned and traditional, something I wasn't quite used to but was certainly willing to adapt to, and was starting to.

 

She ended the relationship a few days after, telling me "I'm incredibly sweet and my heart is in the right place, but she's not sure we are a good fit...and she doesn't feel the spark, etc." Personally, I think she is scared to commit because she hasn't had a boyfriend in a really long time (3 years), no sex in a year (nope not even me), and says she has dated a lot of people (not a **** at all). We definitely had a strong spark (people without the spark don't kiss like we did, don't have the conversations we did, and don't see each other as often as we did (2x a week). I think she almost fell for me and then caught herself to be honest.

 

Fact is, I want this girl back. I have not texted her since (2 weeks this past Saturday) and I haven't heard from her either. How do I approach this if at all?

[BrianH46]

Trust me on this, women know what they want and she made it quite clear to you ( she doesn't feel the spark) that she is not interested. I say hold on to your dignity and move on, if she contacts you later and says she made a mistake than good on ya however nothing is more unappealing than a man who does not respect a woman's ability to make a decision for herself. It is not fear that is keeping you apart but her very clear choice. Get back out there and goodluck on the next one.

[pozcarry]

We actually met in a place we both go to often, so there's an excellent chance our paths will cross again. Problem is, when I met her I didn't totally have my **** together - I'm at a job well below my skills set (in finance, cuz there aren't any jobs these days), don't have my normal swagger and I think she could sense that. If I see her in a few/several months should I try and revisit things with her? I honestly think we had something, or I would just say **** it (I have before, and am capable).

[BrianH46]

See you had two months with her, plenty of time to decide if the spark is there or not. If you want to try again months down the road and you happen to bump into her, than thats normal however I would leave her alone for now.

[pippy longstocking]

" Personally, I think

 

don't try and make a reaosn for her that will fit in better with you ...she gave you a reason and you just have to respect

that , I am sorry .

 

if she changes her mind ..she will come and get you

[pozcarry]

Thanks for your thoughts/support guys...I suppose it is meant to be, it'll happen...

[abitbroken]

I don't think its about your "swagger" or job. If you say she is very traditional and you are not and made adjustments for it - she could have figured this. But bottom line - she decided that you were not the one for her. Its not just about the physical draw to a person. There are people that we are crazy attracted to physically and mentally but our mind takes over when someone ultimately is not a good fit. Glad she said so now than in a year. Head high. You'll meet someone else.

[pozcarry]

If our paths cross again (small city, we have a ton in common and visit same places), should I try to ask for a second chance w her?

[abitbroken]

If our paths cross again (small city, we have a ton in common and visit same places), should I try to ask for a second chance w her?

 

I would just be nice to her. If you cross paths, just say "hello" like anyone else would. This was not a vile, nasty breakup - just two people that dated a few weeks when one realized the other was not what they were looking for. I would not ask for a second chance because the reason was not something you did by accident but who you are. She didn't feel you were a good fit. She gave you a fair shake and just found that you are not a match for reasons that had nothing to do with physical attraction or you both being excellent conversationalists.

[pozcarry]

It was things I did, she said that. A major one was that she got upset that because as the man, I didn't pay for every food bill (she's traditional, and told me her dad was always the type of guy to be very generous in that way), and normally I wouldn't be at a diminished income but unfortunately with the job I currently have (and my income - half my previous salary a year ago) that wouldn't be prudent. She also didn't think I dressed as nicely as she'd like when I saw her - another function of my income right now. Such a job demotion changes their one's lifestyle. I am finishing a certification for my career that will result in a better job soon. People say timing matters big time in life, and I think this girl came into my life at the wrong time.

[shessofly]

i'm sorry pozcarry but i think that is ridiculous and quite superficial. i wish you could see it. i still say it's nothing you "did" if that's the case. she seems high maintenance. you seem like a nice guy. you deserve better.

[pozcarry]

I'm pretty sure what you said just cured me. I honestly feel a great deal better having read that from you

[shessofly]

good! i hope you continue to feel better.