From talkative to very short responses

[Patrick974]

Hello. I'm confused by this girl, I have been talking to her since two weeks (I added her quickly on FB after I met her on a dating site), the first few days we talked a lot, we don't live too far from each other, and we had quite a few laugh, and since a couple of days she barely even respond. I'm not expecting 5 paragraphs texts either, she mentioned about having someone else interested in her. Does this mean the other dude already won and I'm not interesting anymore ? We planned a date this friday and she doesn't seems to talk about it anymore. I'm mostly confused because she text me "good morning" everyday by 9am, then our conversation fade into something futile with answers like " "

[LoveHim]

If she has someone else interested then it sounds like he is keeping her attention more than you are.

 

Maybe once you meet, if there is a spark then conversation will pick up again. You need to keep her interested, ask her questions about herself...get to know her. If her responses are short then she is probably interested in the other guy already.

 

I think she may text you good morning to get the talk going...it's up to you to keep it going...keep her wanting to text you.

[Patrick974]

That is what I am feeling indeed. Even though I do ask her about her life, work, family eventually. I'm not bragging about myself all the time. Maybe my conversations are dull ? I mean, I have nothing exciting to talk about. This is winter here and I'm not on a yacht 4 months of the year. Disappointing. Good on the other guy if he wins.

[pippy longstocking]

It does sound like she has headed off the other way I agree ...

[EssexMan]

Yes, it sounds like she is "keeping you warm" as an option but is more interested in the other guy at the moment.

 

What you do depends on how interested you are, really. If you're hot on her you can try to ramp up the conversation a bit - a good way to do this is by asking questions about her, rather than talking about yourself.

[Patrick974]

I'm trying, but she really doesn't add much to the conversation beside 'I'm fine and u" so hard for me to move forward... Yes she seem very busy talking to someone else. I just asked her via text if it's still OK for friday. Hopefully she will answer tomorrow morning. Have to add that we aren't that close because she can't take her mom's car during week and public transportation here sucks to say the least, the point being : maybe the other dude(s) live just right in her town.

[pippy longstocking]

well I would sit tight now and see what the response to friday is and be lead by that .

[Patrick974]

She is still ok for meeting up this friday. Where it will take place has yet to be found. But at least a good thing.

[Patrick974]

I was probably too rigid, we've talked on FB this evening and we meet tomorrow evening. She comes to my place, listening to music, maybe watch a movie. She works a lot and she had some friends coming over to her house earlier this week. I just need to cool off sometimes. This chat was a good one.

[ballerinababe]

For your first "Date" you just invited her to hang out at your place? NOT impressive. It doesn't sound like it's bound to go anywhere if you ask me. Why didn't you ask her OUT somewhere? If a guy just asks me to come to his place and hang out, I automatically think one of two options: 1)He's not that into me/is just looking to make out, or 2) He's very lazy and uncreative and not worth my time.

[EssexMan]

Whatever works, but I have to agree with Ballerina, a first date at your place is an odd invitation to make. I'm even more surprised she accepted!

[Patrick974]

Let me clear this : we both live in nowhere land, she is not free until 8pm. She can't take her mom's car, I'm driving to pick her up, bring her to my place, and will drive her home later in night. Which is over 50 miles total for me. I will buy some drink and food (all in moderation). Isn't that a legit deal ? You've guessed we live a bit too far from each other, but if this work out and we settle down latter on weekends, or whenever we are both free, there will be better day activities.

 

We first thought about going to a pub, whatfor ? plenty of people, no intimacy (I don't mean getting naughty in my place either on first date) plus I can't drink too much with all those miles I have to drive.

[EssexMan]

Isn't that a legit deal

 

Of course! There's nothing wrong with it, it was just surprising.

 

You've guessed we live a bit too far from each other, but if this work out and we settle down latter on weekends, or whenever we are both free, there will be better day activities.

 

Absolutely. It's not an insurmountable distance at all. My gf and I live about 40 minutes' drive apart and I don't even drive anyway, but we figure it out.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, though, you would drive fewer miles if you took her to a restaurant near her place.

[Natasha24]

Let me clear this : we both live in nowhere land, she is not free until 8pm. She can't take her mom's car, I'm driving to pick her up, bring her to my place, and will drive her home later in night. Which is over 50 miles total for me. I will buy some drink and food (all in moderation). Isn't that a legit deal ? You've guessed we live a bit too far from each other, but if this work out and we settle down latter on weekends, or whenever we are both free, there will be better day activities.

 

We first thought about going to a pub, whatfor ? plenty of people, no intimacy (I don't mean getting naughty in my place either on first date) plus I can't drink too much with all those miles I have to drive.

 

I understand the situation with the car is tricky, but I agree with the other posters, a first date at a guy's house is a little odd. I'm VERY surprised she accepted. I think you would have been better off to go to a restaurant (like Milestones or Kelseys or whatever they have where you live), and just grabbing a few appetizers for an hour or two.

[Patrick974]

Of course! There's nothing wrong with it, it was just surprising.

 

 

 

Absolutely. It's not an insurmountable distance at all. My gf and I live about 40 minutes' drive apart and I don't even drive anyway, but we figure it out.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, though, you would drive fewer miles if you took her to a restaurant near her place.

 

Fair enough. But she doesn't know her city much (she recently moved there and basically never hang out in this little town, only to take the train to work). I'm guessing there aren't many restaurants there, and most bars are closed by 8pm. Just boring.

Natasha. I'm taking your advice as a possibility. We can do this indeed before we hit my place. I will suggest her by text.

[Trinity11]

Hello. I'm confused by this girl, I have been talking to her since two weeks (I added her quickly on FB after I met her on a dating site), the first few days we talked a lot, we don't live too far from each other, and we had quite a few laugh, and since a couple of days she barely even respond. I'm not expecting 5 paragraphs texts either, she mentioned about having someone else interested in her. Does this mean the other dude already won and I'm not interesting anymore ? We planned a date this friday and she doesn't seems to talk about it anymore. I'm mostly confused because she text me "good morning" everyday by 9am, then our conversation fade into something futile with answers like " "

 

Not interested.

[Steve75]

Indoor dates are very popular during the winter season.

 

Nothing wrong with the 1st date being at someone's house as long as there is

 

1. No Nudity

2. No sex

[Patrick974]

OK, just to let you know how the story continues, first date went really well. We went to a restaurant following your advices (I'm not stubborn) and settled a bit in my place, kissed a bit (she kissed me). This just couldn't be better. Thank you all for your advices again. I'll keep you updated on the starting romance.

[EssexMan]

Great, glad to hear it!