Arghh I hate this! Help me

[icantsay]

Ok, so I already posted a thread about my story. But to explain short: we were together for three years, had our problems but I was so happy with him, and poof! He suddenly wants a break and has depression. Then he insists on me moving out, and generally doesn't seem to care about me. I've begged, done NC, broken it, and all the bad stuff. I wanted us to try a second chance and I want to be there for him even though he suffers.

 

 

Anyway, I gave in and contacted him yesterday after a week of NC. It was an absolute failure and he sounded so careless, and told me about how his life is terrible - yet he doesn't want to be with me.

 

This morning I had enough - he took my house, my dogs, and everything we loved. I gave up so much for him - and for a month now I have been trying to be patient. Enough is enough! So I wrote to him that I would like to pick up the rest of my stuff from the house, and have my dogs back when I get to a new apartment.

 

He asked me if I was giving up on us, and I yes. Well, of course I am! He is the one who broke up with me, and I begged him to come back. I feel worthless and humiliated after all of this.

 

I ended the conversation by saying that I would like him to no longer contact me, as I am moving on and need space. He then gave me a guilt trip and said that he has never done that to me before.... but really? He's the one who broke up with me and has ignored me

 

 

Ok, so I'm devastated now.. Any input? At least now I can't make an excuse for writing to him as I told him that I no longer want contact... Was this a bad idea? Since he has depression, should I keep contact open? I feel like everything is my fault and that I can barely breathe... I am sinking and feel less and less every day. Help!

[icantsay]

Someone please help me out here. I'm really feeling down

[mhowe]

Feeling down is part and parcel of breaking up. A week of NC is no where near enough time for the emotional drama to calm down. If he is in depression, then there is nothing you can do to solve it for him.

 

So, you had enough -- and now you have told him you don't want to "be there for him". Fair enough. That is how you feel. But you can't expect, or maybe you did, that this would change his mind.

 

So, nothing is "your" fault or his "fault". It has ended. And it is time to move on. Grieve the loss of the relationship, and look forwad.