Njeanne Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I have been on this forum for a while, but haven't really much posted on here. I shall try to keep my post short. Year ago I met a guy on a mmo game, we slowly became friends. I had interest in someone else at that time, but he eventually confessed his feelings for me. I rejected it and the guy I had interest in confessed his feelings so I choose him. I saw my friend as a "friend", now realising back I prob had a stronger connection with him because my relationship with the other guy didn't work out long. We kinda hit it off from hardly knowing one another to being a couple and I learning to know him I saw incompatible signs. Me and my friend were getting closer and closer and showed signs of affection but I never realised until another girl was "flirty" talking with him (she also disliked me because I was playing a classrole in raids she preferred to have) I became jealous of their friendship and I realised I could loose him forever. He assured me not, so we started to talk more and more. Everytime on mumble, everyday. Eventually we left for different mmo and our feelings grew, till he confessed second time and I confessed too. Six months together were happiest moments in my life, I finally found the person I wanted to stay with. Strong friendship bond and true love. (sad, crying while typing this, damn memories) Anyway, we had plans on moving in together, learning each others language had petnames and so much more. We decided to meet up for first time in December, spending newyears together. Two weeks before he was going to travel here, he broke it off with me. Telling me he fell out of love with me, that we are too different and that he realised he was happier without me. I didn't knew what NC was, but automatically did it. Last time I heard him week after was when he said I'll get through this pain, and saying his feelings gradually went away two months before. I told him to tell our mutual mmo friend to say we broke up (week before he finally admitted to her we were a couple after telling him to keep it secret) But he never did, he is never online on his skype when she is there. All I know is he was hurt with everything he was telling me to break up with me, and that if he'd regret he'd promise to tell me. Anyway...six weeks later, week ago, I woke up knowing why he fell out of love with me. And I came to know it's my fault, I made him fall out of love with me. I ruined our relationship, he lost his feelings for something I did. (no he didn't meet anyone else, nor did he cheat on me. He was always there with me) We were playing GW2 together in september and had the most blast off all, when Mist of Pandaria came out I wanted to play that. He never much liked the game, but he followed to gradually quit it after a month. I became more interested in it and started to raid four evenings in the week. Which means I couldn't talk to him on skype four hours in evening. I noticed every week he became more distant and whatnot. We had fight one day about feeling like he didn't wanted to spend time with me anymore. I told him if I should quit wow, and he said "no". At the time I thought Uni was keeping him busy and ignoring me four days during exam before breaking it off. Me playing wow, therefore spending less time with him and therefore him having nothing to play with me made him fall out of love with me. I lost my boyfriend for something I have done, I quit Wow in December, but it is too late. He lost his feelings for me because of a stupid game. I am sure if I told him "let's go back to rift and enjoy it's new expansion" we would've still been together. He loved me so much, more then I ever could since he did everything to win my heart. He was the most sweetest, smartest, greatest guy ever, never angry, aggressive. But I gave him less attention, and I never knew or figured out. I thought our love was stronger. I lost Rikard because of what I have done, I learned a lot in these seven weeks and I wrote a list in my head with all things I would do differently if given second chance. But I know there will never be one, he fell out of love with me, I made him unhappy he felt bored/neglected by me. Every night I still cry and this guilt on my heart is something I have to live with. Everything was fine between us till I started raiding, two months ago was when I started raiding. I wish I could turn back time and never started raiding, he should've told me how he felt, maybe he never realised why he fell out of love with me because he never told me. He said "we are too different and got different worldviews" which is a sign that he was unhappy and lacked attention, even though everyday I told him how much I loved him. I found this article "link removed and read it everyday to get through even though I know he won't return back too me. I was going to move to his country, he said I'll enjoy the snow there (knowing I am scared of it's total snow there) and all... I miss his voice, his laugh, his smile so much, and I can't get him back... I wish for second chance...it's my fault, I can fix it, but it's too late... I am sorry Rikard for hurting you, I should've gone to different mmo with you so we could play together... I am sorry! Promise me to be happy forever, find someone who will make you happy and never forget me... You had endless love for me and I took it for granted... So many couples get back together, we will not be one of those... Link to comment
Comstar Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 You can't truly fall in love with someone unless you lived a long time with that person. If you fall in love with someone you barely interact in limited circumstances, you probably fell in love with an ideal, not the human being. True love is about two happy people who decide to share their happiness and make each other grow as humans and be better people. Love is not an emotion. Falling in love and seeing magic sparks is an emotion that lasts for only a few months, and this is why a joke says "eternal love lasts 6 months". Love is a decision. If you are not growing as human beings, it is not really a healthy relationship, but toxic codependence. Every couple faces times when they argue. The trick is not to let resentment to grow. Attack the problem, not the person. Feeling guilt is not healthy. I do not see a real reason why you should feel guilty, probably you just feel sad and diminished, but that's a feeling that comes from early childhood, not from this situation. You may need to explore the origin of that feeling and heal it. Fairy tales tells us there is only one, the first one. Life is a bit different. Probably the first one was your encounter with your ideal, but I bet he was a bit different, not that ideal. many couples get married too young and at some point when they really meet each other they wonder "why isn't this person like the one I married?" and the answer is that people fall in love with their ideal, but the real human being is quite different. I would not worry if I was you. If something is meant to be yours, it will be. If not, it never was. Link to comment
Njeanne Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 I know what love is, that's not the problem. Problem is he lost interest in me because of what I did, I had to express my feelings in this because I will have to live with this pain/guilt for rest of my life because I lost something important. No one can change the past, and no one knows what the future will hold. We had many things in common, aside from few different interest in things but that didn't lead us to argue/fight at all. All I'm saying is, I was very angry at him, to later realise I was source of problem and i had to vent it out here. I am one that hurted him...in the end because of a choice I made. Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 You...fell in love with someone you've never met in person? Yeah, no. Also, and no disrespect to MMORPG players (my boyfriend is a big WoW fan, but limits himself to a few hours a week), but...it sounds like you live more in virtual reality than actual reality. I mean, look at your post. You didn't have time to talk with him on Skype because you were too busy "raiding" on WoW. Come on. Link to comment
Njeanne Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 Doesn't matter anymore, only wanted to express my feelings. I know you can't fall in love with a person you haven't met, but you can get as close, that's why we were going to meet up. Me and him both started off in mmo, so it kept us both happy, unfortunate I had to choose one he disliked. I am never selfish, for once I am (without even realising I was doing it) I lost him... Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Coulda, shoulda, woulda.... I am sorry that you were disappointed by a game playing buddy but really look at this through the eyes of reality. You never even met him. Did you ever exchange real life information? You knew his home address? Did you talk to him on cell phone? How firm were these plans to meet up? It sounds like you took this connection and then blew it completely out of proportion. I had to read your post twice before I realized that you have never even met each other. I am not saying that cyber connections cannot lead to a relationship together but basically you were way ahead of this. You were going to move to his snowy country....do you have a passport? Did you look into how difficult getting a visa is? You need to realize that dreaming outloud together does not make a thing real. You and him could say incredible statements to each other but he never got on a plane so it is hard to take him serious. What are the ages here? Both of you sound very young... Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I believe you could have loved him but it's not cemented until you meet in person and know that those feelings are real. Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Me and him both started off in mmo, so it kept us both happy, unfortunate I had to choose one he disliked. I am never selfish, for once I am (without even realising I was doing it) I lost him... Look at what you're saying: things in your fantasy "relationship" fell apart because you started playing a game he wasn't into. You both need to get lives. Real ones, not virtual ones. Link to comment
xxStormy Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Honestly I doubt that is the reason he left you. "True love" doesn't go away because you play WoW. And if he honestly loved you he would have talked to you about it. Thinking that if you played another mmo you could have kept him is mist plain silly.@ Link to comment
Njeanne Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Coulda, shoulda, woulda.... I am sorry that you were disappointed by a game playing buddy but really look at this through the eyes of reality. You never even met him. Did you ever exchange real life information? You knew his home address? Did you talk to him on cell phone? How firm were these plans to meet up? Yes, I know where he lives, his address, cell phone number, saw his appartement, met his room mates. To answer others, atm I don't care, I only wanted to express feelings by writing something. Nothing changes, I am a strong person and I am smiling everyday living happily. I'm not broken or anything, I just wanted to write down so I could learn from a mistake I made. Thanks though. Link to comment
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