NC not allways the cure for letting go.....please read

[engraved2008]

If few of you read my first threads back in April 2009 will realize how heartbroken i was and how i deeply i suffered for some one that did not love me the same way as i did.The relationship slowly ended late in that year and then we moved from boyfriend /girlfriend relationship to NC for couple of month and then FWB and then just friends....

It took more than 3 years to realize that this relationship ended.No i do not hate him or wish him bad.Part of me will always care for him (to some extend ) ,but i accepted the reality .That he will most likely not going to be my husband and the father of my children as at one time i have pictured my future around.That person is no longer a priority in my life.I hear from him from time to time ,and yes he reaches to me pretty often ,but the sign of him does not stir emotions,hate,heart beatings or any of that.I wish for him to be ok.

For the ones that think NC was the solution to healing ,im glad to hear it worked out that way.On my situation and as each of us realize ,each story and case is different......what helped me to move on was not NC ( since it was LDR ,i used to wonder about his well being ),it was time.....time will take care of the pain and the processing of letting go.

And as i mentioned previous ,each situation and personality of us is different.For me ,i can be in love with intesity of another person and still care for my ex as a person,not as a relationship prospect and in the same time wishing them well.

[willpower123]

If you did NC, it wouldn't take 3 years to heal. You can still get over someone while in contact, but it just takes a lot longer.

[pl3asehelp]

Yeah, had you gone no contact you could have moved on much, much sooner and you wouldn't have the baggage of being FWB with an ex, which honestly would be a reason I would not date you.

[Loveandlost]

NC isnt a revoluntionary concept. It is what happens with all human interaction eventually. We grow apart.. we make new friends.. we get new jobs.. we find new loves. The old school mates/ friends/work collegues/love interests remain in our memories (which also fade) but we keep living and experiencing new things with new people etc...

 

When people are saying NC when the breakup happens, its because eventually thats what happens, so rip the bandaid off and accept the pain now, so you can grow from it sooner. You really dont want all of your exes and your new significant others exes hanging around do you?

[engraved2008]

It may work out different for each orf us.Maybe some of u may be right ,if i d had done NC from the beginning i d healed faster.NO.It was not my case.most of my exes remained on good terms with me,and he was the only one that i had a relationship with after the break up.I can look of most of my exes without any desires.One of my exes helped me with a ride when i was strended.

Maybe was not in me to cut someone completely out of my life.I cannot say do or do not NC.If u are emotionally unstable about the break up,do what ur heart feells.Im a sentimental at heart.Some people may not be .and when i say contact,does not mean constantly contact,but there for each other if we need something and we can .But this particular ex is just like me.We said when we started dating,,if we break up one day,we will always going to be friends.As i said ,not all people are the same.

[chai714]

If you did NC, it wouldn't take 3 years to heal. You can still get over someone while in contact, but it just takes a lot longer.

 

I'm with willpower on this one. Hard to disagree with this.

[Lambo]

For me personally, ever since I went into NC I have felt a whole lot better. Not talking to her, blocking and unfriending her from Facebook and just completely avoiding her has allowed me to focus on myself. However, I do run into her at school sometimes and when I do, I instantly get upset and go back to square one.

 

NC has been keeping me sane. If it doesn't bring her back, that's okay! I'll be a better person because of it.