Jumpstarting a Paused Beginning.

[ming1]

I dont know if this is going to sound stupid or not, but I'd like some advice or opinions to help me gather my thoughts. I'll try to keep it short.

 

I met a girl about 6 months ago. We hit it off very quickly. In the beginning, she liked me a lot more than I was into her, but over time, I've grown to be very interested in her. We dated for a mere 2 weeks but broke it off due to the fact that we were going to be separated by 100's of miles for the upcoming months due to our work obligations.

 

We didnt feel it was smart to start a relationship under such circumstances.

 

We kept in contact during those 6 months but it was fairly limited. With about 3 weeks left before we would be back in the same area again she started religiously texting and calling me. At the time I was trying to decide whether I wanted to actually persue a meaningful relationship with her because she does have a lot of bagage. Therefore, I perhaps wrongly wanted to keep my distance. I'd always respond to her and keep up the playful banter, but I'd rarely initiate contact.

 

Since then I made up my mind that she's definitely worth pursuing.

 

With a week to go she just cold turkey stopped calling. She actually hasnt called or texted me once since then.

 

Anyhow we've been back in the same area for 2 weeks now. I hang out with her several times a week at her place. She seems very nervous maybe. She's usually very flirty but now she's very timid when she flirts almost as if she's afraid of how ill react. I thought maybe I need to come on to her stronger to help the situation and let her know my feelings haven't changed - which I did - and it has helped her confidense a little bit.

 

What I really need to do is talk to her about us before we do anything else. The problem is we are rarely alone. We are constantly surrounded by friends so it makes it awkward for us.

 

My biggest concern is her refrain from calling or texting me. Its so not like her. How do you all interpret that? I dont want to talk to her on the phone about this. Id much rather do it in person. How do you all suggest I convey that to her?

 

Normally I wouldn't have a problem doing this, but she's so not like herself around me Im not sure what to do. Its obvious she's still interested so thats not the problem. Its something else. Should I just start calling or texting her almost every day like she used to do? Should I step up my flirting even more? Should I just be blunt about the whole thing?

[Gimpyrks]

I would definetly show her that you are interested. She's probably so unsure of what you are feeling that she is now not sure how to act. Usually when I stop initiating contact like that it's because I'm sick and tired of being the only one who does so or I feel like the guy doesn't feel the same way.

 

If you can't talk to her in person due to the group of friends, call her, or even just flat out ask her on a date to get her alone.

[rosasnyder811]

Your silence most likely made her question your feelings and she's nervous. You and her need to sit down alone and talk about things. It seems like she's still interested, but there could be other things going on as well. When people stop talking to each other, it can cause hurtful feelings. This is why NC is a bad idea. You can't have a relationship without communication, and she may have interpreted your silence as playing games with her. You need to sit down with her, apologize, and discuss your fears with her, and see where it goes.