Calling her or not....totally puzzled...

[Bones28]

Most of you all have prob. read my breakup story below and some could even be sick of hearing from me, but this is the best way for me to solve my problems. Allright, I haven't called her in about 3 days and each hour gets harder and harder. First understand that at this point I am trying to get back together with her, not get over her...when that time comes, I think I will be able to. I don't want her to forget about me but everyone says for me to just not call her. I want to call her for a couple of reasons. Maybe just hearing from me would change her heart a little, or if I explain there is another girl I am interested in and wanted to make sure there was nothing I could do to fix our relationship before I enter another. It's crazy, I just want to call her, but I also know that it might not accomplish anything at all. Should I just let her run away and hope that it was truly meant to be and that if it was, she will need to not hear from me for a while, so she can understand that. I am so F***ed right now that I would even call her and ask what she would say if I wanted to marry her...how crazy is that. Please don't think im a psycho or anything, it is just love, its making my mind crazy. So I guess what my main question is....Should I call her or not...if I call her will I be just taking steps backwards and if I dont call her will i be just helping her forget about me? Please help.

[rvr350]

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. Before we can help you, I'm a bit confused. You said you wanted to get together with your ex-gf, but you also said you wanted to tell her you're interested in another girl? If you can clarify a bit, then i think we'll be able to help you out.

[Bones28]

- just meant that there are other people around for me. Not saying I want to date someone else, just that beofre I do I want to know there is nothing else i can do...

[zb]

Just be careful your not playing some other girl............ You will find yourself in hot water if your trying to use another girl as a prize to win your ex back.................... if you get a rep for playing games you won't be dating much, unless the girl is a player herself..........fair warning.

[SwingFox]

Bones,

 

To me it looks like that you don't have any boundaries set for yourself. I would suggest that you start there. Set boundaries for yourself as to what you would accept and what you can't accept in your relationships. That will help you answering questions you have right now. Do you find it acceptable that your g/f wants space and time? If so, for how long? A week? A month? A year? A decade?

 

Do what you think is right in YOUR heart. What if she doesn't feel good when you call? That's HER problem not yours. If she doesn't feel comfortable with it, you might not trust her again getting back with her in a relationship, regardless how much you would like to do that now.

 

You have deep feelings for her now, because you have loved her so much. However, those feelings can fade... they will fade. If you allow yourself some time to get over them. It won't happen overnight, but time will heal your wounds. After that you'll be able to move on and start the dating game again with someone that REALLY cares for you and doesn't put you on hold or plays games with you.

 

My bottom line is: take control over YOUR situation. Don't let anyone control your feelings by thinking that she might or might not get back. That's a situation in which you wil keep feeling unhappy.

 

I hope that this will work for you and I wish you good luck in what you decide to do.

 

~ SwingFox ~