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The Next Chapter In My Trivial Life


CaliforniaGirl2222

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Sometimes I feel like I am a 20 year old in a 30 year olds body. I am nowhere where I need to be in my life, and now I am bringing another life into this world. I am not ready for this.

 

I don't know where i am going in life and I don't have many people to help support me. I am three months pregnant. If someone asked me 4 months ago if I wanted children, my answer would be "i don't know. If I have them, not for another few years" Now, here I am going to be a mother in August. I have never been so scared in my life. I feel the walls crumbling down around me. I am in such a depression. I have nothing and I have nobody. I need to be strong, but it's getting harder everyday.

 

My mom is crazy, my dad is an A-hole, my step mom is crazier than my mom, my brother is a know it all, and my Uncle that lives accross the country is a Drunk. That is my family. There is also my dads side that I barely know because he stopped speaking with them many years ago.

 

They say if everyone around you is crazy- that makes you the crazy one. I think about that a lot. I think well maybe it's me. However the more I evaluate it, the more I realize that I am the most sane out of most people I know. These people-My family are bringing me down with them.

 

Sometimes I wish I could get a redo. Just start over.

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