Attraction to people similar to parents

[stratguy620]

Has anyone else here heard the theory that people are attracted to those that remind them of their parents? I think its true, as your parents are almost always the ones who love you and care for you in your devleopmental stages. My gf hates it because her father and I act almost identically, and she gets really creeped out by it. I was just wondering if anyone else had anyting else to say about this.

[Day_Walker]

Its common for people to find significant others who have qualities of their parent of the opposite gender. It has to do with environment and comfortability. It happens all the time.

[PrincessLinzay]

Yes I have heard the same thing. I am also guilty of it. I tend to go for guys who have qualities of my father, but avoid other qualities that he has. It is a common occurrence.

[sisterlynch]

I feel that we all have a masculine side and a feminine side and we probably identify with both. I really feel like my husband is more like my mom and I am more like his dad. Oh, well. Maybe we have changed sexes lately...

 

We also project certain character traits on to other people and identify those traits that we have projected on to the other person.

 

That is why stereotyping, scapegoating and one upmanship are so easy to do, you see only the character traits that you want to see in those around you. You encourage those traits by the things that you say and the way that you interact with others.

 

Like that person who said that she doesn't like people with glasses etc...you expect people with X traits to be a certain way, then the theory of self-fulfilling professy comes into play-- low and behold you create the environment that you set out to hate, but by hating the environment, you some how encourage those same traits that you say that you Hate in others. Those are really your own traits that you are rejecting and you are consciously rejecting them, so they must come and haunt you,,,hoooo hooo hooo!!

[Francis]

The boyfriend that I loved the most and with whom I was most compatible looks exactly like my dad, they could have been practically twin brothers. When we started dating, sometimes I looked at him and I thought it was very strange, but I got used to being with him.

 

My last boyfriend does not look like my dad, but he shares many characteristics as my two parents. In fact, he had my all my parents' defects and that's why I dumped him.

 

I don't know why I met them, but I believe it is not a coincidence.

[drahcir]

I have heard the same thing and believe its true to some extend. But the person you meet and fall in love with also depends on who is available, what interests and ideas you share, and other stuff too.

 

Also, the person I date and marry will NOT in any way be like my parents.

[Kitz]

Ha, and the reason I hate guys who shave their heads is because they remind me of my dad.

But I hate my parents -- not really, but it's just, the little things they do... rrgh.

 

Basically, if anyone reminds me of my parents I get as far away as possible. I guess i'm in the minority though.

[Santa]

My dad always says to me I will end up marrying someone similiar to my mum.

But i agree with the above post - as soon as someone starts acting or looks like either of my parents, I instantly avoid them. I would like some one opposite to my parents.

[asdf]

I'm not attracted to girls like my mother. Mainly cause I don't like my mother at all.

[sisterlynch]

Of course you hate your parents and avoid people that act like that. Wait till you get a little older, then you will see!! They probably hated their parents too!!

[tea]

I thought I'll never date someone who resembles my parents... bf's too much like my dad though. scary. They even share the same look when they're angry...

[mahlina]

Hmm...Very interesting topic! I didn't get to know my father for that long. He passed away when I was young, but the little memories of him still exist. As I can recall, yes, in some ways, some, I am attracted to someone who has similar qualities of my father: giving, humble, and quiet. I was always the person who'd preach to my father. Like this one time, he didn't put down his cigarrette. So, I made a statement by dressing up like my mom. I wore her purse, dress & pumps, and then picked up a pencil in my hand and slowly took a puff out of it, right in front of his face! My father got mad, but in a gentle way. He punished me, but never hit me. At least he tried to quit smoking afterwards. So yes, I look for qualities of someone like him: someone who's gentle, and someone who's there to listen to me. I miss you daddy!

 

I also remember how much he used to spoil me. Call me a brat, but I love receiving the little presents that he would always bring home. We didn't spend much time with each other, mainly because he was always working. But when we did, he always showed his best to me, even when his job was tiresome. So, I will look for a guy who will always show his best to me too! Besides that, he was truly madly deeply in love with my mom. So, I'll also make sure that the guy that I'm with also loves me the way that my dad loved my mom. Someone who is also the loving type, who is really dedicated to the ones that he loves.