Does she still love me ?

[Without Soulmate]

My wife and I have been together for ten years and married for 6 of them. We have four childeren together ( I have one from prev relationship, she had two from prev relationship and on together) and have become a very close and tight family until recently. For the last six months our marriage has changed a bit as things do when stress and life's problems arise and we have gotten into quite a few very intense verbal arguments. After this last one she took the kids and left me. I was in shock but when she called the next day she said she has been depressed and hurt over how we have become to each other and doesn't know what she is goin to do. We have talked and cried alot since then(it has now been a week) and she has still not moved back home with the kids. She says she does not know when she can for fear of bein so devastated again but has let me see and talk to the kids every day. I have told her that I want to work on our marriage and do whatever it takes ( couseling etc..) but she needs to come home so we can work on this together. Which leaves me to here today. I feel so lost and depressed I just don't know what to do. Being in our home that we have made together all alone is driving me almost insane where I feel like I am being haunted by our memories. She and I both break down in tears when we talk but I am still alone. I don't know if this is " normal " for a woman to act in such a manner after being so emotionally hurt or is she as lost as I am. I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone may have for me escpecially a ladies point of view.

[sisterlynch]

This is the time to stand up for yourself.

 

Have you seen the part in Star Wars where OB 1 tells people what to do and they do it?

 

You can do that too, you must lose the depression, and show a calm exterior and tell her that it will be ok as long as she is with you and the kids will be ok too.

 

You cannot let her run off with the kids, they cannot be with the more depressed parent, she shouldn't have taken them, she is in the wrong.

 

You need to get someone on your side that she will listen to, her mom or sister. Some person who will stand up for you and tell her to come home.

 

The police maybe or a social worker could do this too if there are no family members available.

 

 

Once she is home, treat her like she is the most important person to you and listen to her and don't argue or anything that drove her away to begin with.

 

Tell her that you both must forget the past and work on making life ok in the present and near future.

 

You can do this, remember "for better or worse"? This is worse on the way to ok again.

[ezila]

sisterlynch is 100% right on.

[SwingFox]

Hi Without Soulmate,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear what has happened to you. I understand that you got into some real arguments with your wife that she left you.

 

I agree with sisterlynch for 200%. Communication is one of the building blocks in any relationship. It's so easy to run away, but especially when you have children, you can't just do that. In that perspective I agree with sisterlynch that she is VERY wrong in doing that.

 

I have to tell you that it doesn't help you, blaming her for that, the instance that she comes home. Try to work on communication. It will benefit both of you. Try to set your boundaries and evaluate them with your wife. See where you have to compromise and where you have to meet somewhere in the middle.

 

I hope that things will work out for you and I wish you good luck the coming period.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[sisterlynch]

I enjoyed writing that one myself!