Imtheretoo Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Hi, So I recently started dating someone I met on a dating website. On the two dates we have been to they've been great and we enjoy each other very much. The problem is outside of dates we hardly text. Just a quick, "how's your day," or "this show was hilarious", obviously small talk that doesn't go anywhere. Seems the only conversation we do have is that of when/where the date will be held. Most it's my initiation of small talk, so it's putting me off. The other part is it sometimes takes her well over an hour just to respond. Anyone experience this. Is this normal? I've had a completely different history with new dating in the past, I just don't want to over analyze since together we click. Thanks! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Texting as a means of getting to know someone is pretty unwise and meaningless to me. Maturity means picking up a phone and calling. Link to comment
Imtheretoo Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Texting as a means of getting to know someone is pretty unwise and meaningless to me. Maturity means picking up a phone and calling. I couldn't agree more, but for me it usually just implies interest. She mentioned before we went out that she's not much into talking on the phone. Link to comment
MsAdorkable Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Maybe she just isn't a texter. I know I'm not and I usually tell people that upfront, but sometimes I forget. For example someone (doesn't matter who) will text me and it is likely I won't even see it for a few days because I don't even bother looking for them. When I do see the text its never anything important just mundane chatter like "what are you doing?" and I really can't be bothered with that. I'll just call that person later and chat for a bit. Eventually people just figure out that they're better off calling me. Why don't you ask her next time you're together if she's a texter or would prefer another mode of communication. She may actually prefer you to call or email. Regardless don't over analyze because she must like you if she keeps going out with you. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I couldn't agree more, but for me it usually just implies interest. She mentioned before we went out that she's not much into talking on the phone. Call her anyway ... as a means to ask her out on another date. Get to know her in person. Link to comment
Imtheretoo Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Appreciate the responses. I'll call her later this week and set something up. Link to comment
rusty_boi Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I have dated a lot of girls from dating sites for the last 3 years. My current girlfriend i met online... The one thing i noticed about texting in this time, is you need to offer something different. Every joe blow texts the "how was your day line." And if shes dating online she would have texted her fair share of them too. You know what makes her tick, text her about something interesting or funny and not so generic. Oh and above all dont forget to playfully tease her. If she responds to the teasing positively she is interested, if not then usually she isnt. e.g. on the date she said she said she isnt happy with her hair. When your out at the shops next take a photo of a fancy hairdresser text the photo to her and say "You should get your haircut here, they will be able to fix your hair. Nothing impresses a guy more than a fancy expensive haircut " Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 If you talk fine without lots of awkward silences when you're together, it's probably as the others say - she just isn't into texting. Have more dates with her! Link to comment
MJWasHere Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Oh and above all dont forget to playfully tease her...... e.g. on the date she said she said she isnt happy with her hair. When your out at the shops next take a photo of a fancy hairdresser text the photo to her and say "You should get your haircut here, they will be able to fix your hair. Nothing impresses a guy more than a fancy expensive haircut " If a guy I dated texted me something like that, I would think it was really really odd and not funny in a teasing way. Just weird and even insulting - will never understand why men continue to believe in this Neg business in the early dating stages. Link to comment
Imtheretoo Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 If a guy I dated texted me something like that, I would think it was really really odd and not funny in a teasing way. Just weird and even insulting - will never understand why men continue to believe in this Neg business in the early dating stages. I don't want to come off too eager, because I'm not. I do compliment her and we have fun together, this just appears like an awkward situation for me since most girls jump to infatuation. She's busy with grad school so I understand, and not everyone is the same. Those in the past didn't work out, so maybe I should go with the flow and try something new. No point to keep trying what hasn't worked for me in the past. Oddly enough this lack of communication seems healthy. Thanks for the replies, guys! Link to comment
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