Online date suggestions

[MorningSong]

Hi, I need to hear your opinion on this, I'm a little confused with this...

 

I just started my account on a dating site over the Christmas break.

 

I talk with guy on and off for a while, when I told him something, he always say he is/feels the same. It seems we do share quite something in common. He seems to want to meet at a market I goes every Saturday. But never asked me when I'm going to be there. Plus I usually just go buy some stuff and leave. Anyways, today he asked if I want to chat on the phone. I told him I'm interested in chat but not on the phone. I'm not a phone person.

 

I wonder if he is just bored and want to kill sometime with me. I start to feel I'm wasting my time with him. What do you guys think?

[lost4836]

When you say he 'seems to want to meet at a market I goes every Saturday' what did he say to imply?

When you said you were not a phone person but would be interested to chat, how did he respond?

[MorningSong]

first time, he said we might run into each other in the market tomorrow.

second time, he asked are you going to the market tomorrow

third time, he asked about the market name, because there is another one in my city.

 

I just replied to him, he hasn't responded yet.

[lost4836]

How long have you guys been talking online?

[MorningSong]

since christmas I think

[lost4836]

That is a fair few weeks of talking then. And the only time meeting up has been suggested is at the market where he implies he may bump into you?

Do you talk daily?

I think at this point, to me at least, he is either incredibly shy and wanting to go slow or he is talking to others and keeping you as an option.

[MorningSong]

We don't talk daily, once another day or two days. Basically, how long took him to reply, it took me the same time to reply too.

 

Should I leave him alone, and don't respond to future messages? If he don't suggest to meet in person.

[lost4836]

If you are happy to keep going with the flow in the hopes he will ask you out then keep replying.

But I think 3 weeks is long enough for a date to have been scheduled. If you don't want to waste any more time then stop contact and see if he steps it up.

Would you be comfortable asking him out for a date?

 

Look into talking with other guys, that way your focus isn't all on this one guy.

[MorningSong]

Thank you very much for your opinions, Lost4836.

 

I have no problem to ask him out, but if he is not interested enough or too shy to ask me out, why do I bother?

[lost4836]

I am on the internet dating scene and gosh is it a funny place at times! (and it has only been a week!)

 

 

He did suggest a phone call so you could always say 'I would prefer face to face' (I am the same way)

 

You should watch the movie 'think like a man' - I recommend for single ladies. Gave me and my girlfriends a laugh!

 

 

Something to think about -

 

Why is he not asking you out?

He doesn’t want to!

 

 

If he doesn’t make time to see you regularly…

 

If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity of the relationship…

 

That’s EXACTLY the relationship that HE wants!

 

Low-intensity. Low-pressure. Low commitment. Low drama.

[MorningSong]

Thanks! I will go find that movie.

[Ms Darcy]

I think he's the one trying to advance things with a call and you are blocking it/slowing it down. (Not being a phone person isn't really a good excuse to turn down a safe way to get to know someone in real time.) You should take initiative to ask him out.

[Patrick974]

I agree with MS Darcy, he's pushing in a non-obnoxious way and you reject him. If you are interested, do make your move. Many girls have done this to me online and it was every time a turn off for me.