Javabear Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 I haven't spoken to my ex in over a month and we've been broken up for a little over three months after a three year relationship. We're 21 and 22 years old. My other posts have more details but basically he left me for a number of reasons but his main issue was that he had a crush on someone else/grass is greener kind of thing. However, the other girl apparently wasn't all that interested in being his girlfriend and they are not and never were together. Anyway, I went to a basketball game at my school tonight. I was supposed to go with some friends but they ended up not coming so I decided to just go anyway because I have a good friend on the team. So, I'm sitting there and I look over and my ex is sitting by himself a few rows in front of me. I wasn't going to say anything but then I figured that he would probably see me eventually so I texted him about the game, watched him read it and smile and then look for me. He came over and asked if he could sit with me. We ended up talking and laughing for the entire last half of the game just catching up on each other's lives and what our plans are for after graduation this June. It was as if the breakup had never happened. But then the game ended and he left while I hung back to wait for my friend on the team. He wished me good luck with the rest of the quarter and said maybe we'd see each other at another game sometime. I was doing really well these past few months with accepting the breakup and moving on. I always thought that I wanted to marry this guy and I still love him, but I was prepared to never see him again. It's like the universe is playing some cruel trick on me. Right when I was FINALLY starting to feel somewhat back to normal we end up alone in the same place at the same time. So now what? Does it seem like this might possibly be moving towards some sort of reconciliation? I know I'm going to have to think long and hard about taking him back after what happened should the occasion arise and he would definitely have to earn it, but I believe in second chances (if they're deserved) and I'd really like the opportunity to see if we could work things out. Link to comment
seoulmate Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 I think you're reading too much into this... First, your post is about a nice meet-up that happened accidentally at a basketball game. But, I've seen the opposite happen where posters tell a story of seeing their ex somewhere at an event or place and he/she ignores the dumpee. So the poster then comes on this board wondering why oh why would he/she ignore me. If he ignored you, would you wonder why he did that? Would you have preferred if he ignored you? And, remember, you texted him first, so you put him in a very difficult situation because if he doesn't reply and doesn't look for you, well then he's the "bad guy". It was a public place, you were both alone and he was showing that he's not the "bad guy".. He's just the guy who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Don't connect the two. And, you're umping way ahead of yourself by thinking that this may be some possible step towards reconciliation. No, quite frankly, this does not appear to be anywhere near that. So, why did he come up to talk to you?...Cuz you texted hm. Cuz maybe he's a nice guy who doesn't hate you. Cuz maybe he feels that you're probably over it also and your text opened the door to be 'friendly'. Link to comment
Javabear Posted January 13, 2013 Author Share Posted January 13, 2013 Perhaps you're right. I guess I was just being hopeful. Link to comment
shessofly Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 it seems he was just being friendly. you broke nc, contacted him and he came over for a friendly chat. i understand how you were tempted to do that but i don't see reconciliation from that post. sorry. Link to comment
matti Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 I'm going to have to agree with the other posters and state my opinion. If he was looking to reconcile, he most likely would have asked you out somewhere, maybe after the game or another time in the very near future. However, all he left you with was "Maybe we'll see each-other at another game sometime" or something to that effect. Needless to day, it appears as if he's just being friendly and perhaps you guys can be "game buddies", so to speak. I'm sorry to acknowledge the same as the other posters have, but I would rather you continue down the path to recovery and healing than to end up taking a step backwards by allowing the "hope" back in to your heart. You'll be just fine at some point regardless of the outcome. That I can guarantee Link to comment
Javabear Posted January 13, 2013 Author Share Posted January 13, 2013 I understand. I think there will always be hope in my heart and moments like these will inevitably set me back. I guess I was just surprised that it went so well and wasn't awkward considering every other time we've talked it's been uncomfortable. I suppose that's why I got so excited and jumped to thoughts of reconciliation. I'm not ready to let the hope for this relationship working out lay to rest, but it is absolutely way too soon to even consider such a thing as getting back together seeing as we've only been apart for a few months. I do want to continue moving forward which is why I'm still intent on not contacting him. However, if this pleasant experience helps remind him that we're good together, that's a step in the right direction as far as I'm concerned. Link to comment
ExcitedtoSleep Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 I understand. I think there will always be hope in my heart and moments like these will inevitably set me back. I guess I was just surprised that it went so well and wasn't awkward considering every other time we've talked it's been uncomfortable. I suppose that's why I got so excited and jumped to thoughts of reconciliation. I'm not ready to let the hope for this relationship working out lay to rest, but it is absolutely way too soon to even consider such a thing as getting back together seeing as we've only been apart for a few months. I do want to continue moving forward which is why I'm still intent on not contacting him. However, if this pleasant experience helps remind him that we're good together, that's a step in the right direction as far as I'm concerned. More like reconsillyation. But seriously, he sounds like a nice guy. Just don't push him so hard. Link to comment
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