Nothing to talk about...even though i never see him?

[jchstar]

Me and my bf have been dating now almost 3 months and im running into a problem i have never had this early on in a relationship. We have nothing to talk about. Conversation doesn't come easy it seems and we are texting less and less. He lives an hour away so texting is how we communicated and some days i don't get a text at all till 4:30pm and he is sleeping in later and later and just sleeping alot in general which makes me think something is wrong (like he is depressed). Not texting much would be okay usually but i only see him once, maybe twice a week if I'm lucky so you would think we wouldn't have an issue with stuff to talk about. Things have been a little awkward because he takes anti depressants and started crying randomly one of the last times we hung out after having sex and of course he is embarrassed about it next time we hung out ( ) But we went to lunch the next time i saw him and he was silent we sat and stared at each other. i would make small talk and he wouldn't really respond much. I plan to see him this saturday but I'm worried things are still going to be awkward and we aren't going to talk much. Is this a justified reason for breaking up? nothing to talk about?

 

i think the reason he often doesn't have much to say is we are both college students but he doesn't work. his dad pays for his apartment that he lives in with his roommates and thus he spends most his time just sleeping and watching movies. in fact all we do when i come over is watch movies...which kind of bothers me too. i find sitting around all day watching movies boring. is that normal? or is that what couples do? sleep together, watch movies and eat together?

 

I just honestly dont' know if I'm being too demanding or expecting too much by wanting deeper conversations, going out together and more communication since i can't see him much. I have never done a long distance thing so i don't know what i should be expecting here.

[threestars]

If you have nothing to talk about and never see him then what could you be interested in?

[jchstar]

If you have nothing to talk about and haven't even met him then what could you be interested in?

 

we have met. he just lives an hour away. we meet up once a week. twice if we are lucky due to my work schedule and school.

[threestars]

Misread at first and edited. But, even then. If seeing him is hard and there is nothing to talk about; where could this possibly go?

[LoveSoDeep]

If this just started after the cying incident then he's probably still emabarrased about that and just not sure what to do. You need to talk that out and make sure he knows it's not bothering you and if something is bothering him you'd like to talk through it. You also need to let him know hat this decrease in communication is concerning to you. If it's something he can fix and wants to work on it's not fair to just expect him to know what you need...you have to tell him....nicely of course. Same with not just watching movies all the time....let him know you'd like to get out and try different things otherwise he'll think you're perfectly happy with the status quo.

[Celadon]

This is a difficult situation. I'm reading that he's not in a good place right now: no energy, not many interests. You understandably want to be with someone who is enjoying life and wanting to share it with you. I don't know ... could be bad timing for your relationship

[Ayanokōji]

Well the question is what YOU want to do, i.e you want to go out and do a sport with him then tell him you want to do x y and z, don't just wait for him to start things since he obviously isnt an out going person.

I use to be like your bf but I changed drastically and now am an extremely out going person because other people have influenced me and kept getting invitations to go out and do things away from the house, however, before I couldn't always go out because of a lack of money (studying in uni with a student loan and no job) means I have to be extremely economical which is why I just watched movies and played games back then.

[jchstar]

I went to see him today and he broke up with me. Said " it was too weird after the crying episode and he didn't think he could be himself around me now cuz it felt awkward." I told him breaking up over him crying was dumb cuz I didn't judge him infact I held him while he cried. He then said we didn't have enough in common. so I basically said I felt his reasoning was dumb but if that's what he wanted. I still don't understand it. I guess ge is depressed and that was what the crying was about but not being able to be with me now because of it seems illogical. Maybe its a pride thing?

[Vaglar]

For me, no conversation is a killer. If you have no more things to say after 3 months, It just means you two are not so compatible. He broke up for the best IMO.