I need advice on how to deal with friends

[SandyD]

There is a girl in my group of friends who is big on internet dating. It hasn´t been working out too well for her, and she has been dumped by these guys after they meet in person for a few times. She won´t give up, though. Now she has decided that her telling people about these dates is what is "jinxing" it for her, so she´s dragging out another girl to go out with her and keeping quiet to the rest of the group.

 

My problem with it is that I will make plans with this other girl, and internet girl will simply drag her out as a chaperone to meet her internet "buddies" and not let her answer her cell when I call so as not to jinx things, I guess. I was stood up last weekend because of that. I feel as though she doesn´t like me very much for some reason. Needless to say, I´m very angry about this. My friend is never like that, and is a very nice person who goes out of her way for her friends, but I feel that internet girl is getting to be very inconvenient.

 

I´m not talking to either of them right now as I don´t want to lash out in anger at them, although my friend has been calling and e-mailing to make ammends. Does anyone have any good advice on how I might let them know thay are not being cool without getting into a fight? I am not going to eat up any stupid excuse, and that´s what they have been trying to feed me.

[RayKay]

She drags someone along with her on her dates? Hmmm...maybe the fact that the poor guy is meeting girl and entourage that is jinxing things Maybe they just think it is a BIT strange.

 

Seriously, I do date fairly often off the net, and I have yet to bring someone along....just meet in a public place!

 

Tell your friend to tell the internet girl that she thinks guys probably do not appreciate her coming along on their meetings. And maybe if internet girl is that scared about meeting people even in public without a chaperone, she should do some better screening before meeting, or look at another venue of dating.

 

That will get your friend back her freedom, sounds like she is easily manipulated by internet girl.

[Celadon]

SandyD, if your friend is calling you to apologize, I think you should meet with her. You don't have to go into the blame game or anything, but you should say what it is that you want. You want to make plans with your friend and have her keep those plans. Period. Remind your friend that when she ditches you, it makes you mad and feeling like she doesn't care.

 

Internet dating girl has problems, but try to remember they're HER problems. The only problem you have is your friend who has been flaky. Get her to be more committed to her promises to you, and you won't have this problem with her anymore!