Terrified of these feelings....

[Ditta]

Hey Guys....

 

Don't know why I'm posting this.....guess I just need a bit of reassurance right now!!

 

Does anyone else find falling inlove unbelievebly scary?....

I'm totally falling for this guy....we've been seeing each other for around a month...he revealed that he was falling inlove with me last week....which I was really shocked about!....didn't think he'd even tell me anything like that so soon.

 

I've been badly hurt twice before. Was cheated on both times. I feel like I have had my fingers burnt....so all these emotions are scaring the hell out of me.

We also have an age difference....I'm 30.... he's only 23. I really don't feel like there is much a maturity difference between us....I'm quite a very young 30.... and he is such a gent....doing lovely gestures for me all the time.

 

I know I have fallen for him too...... and I'm frightened of it.....he consumes my world.....I can't stop thinking about him..... I miss him all the time.

I'm worried a bit partly because of his age....and partly of just letting myself go and being hurt again.

 

Is this normal ? I can't remember feeling like this with the other I was with. I'm in shock about how quickly it's happened.

 

I even thought about breaking it off with him because I scared of being hurt but I just can't stop loving him.

 

God this sounds lame. Just go no one to talk about this stuff to @

[allcity]

Hi Ditta. While you're waiting for good advice, could you tell me a bit more about why you've thought of breaking up with him? I've had a few women vanish on me in the past and found out later it was because they supposedly liked me too much and got scared, but I've never understood it. If you really like someone, that's a good thing, no? Even if you're scared.

 

As for my opinion, I (obviously) say don't be so silly as to break up with someone that you feel so strongly about. Would you rather be with someone that you're not passionate about and live the rest of your life with Mr. Second Best who conjures no strong feelings in you, while wondering about the amazing guy that you threw away out of nothing more than fear?!

[HeatherB]

It's normal. I also think you are right to be cautious. If you had unresolved issues with your previous boyfriends, chances are good they will come up in this relationship too, just in slightly different format.

 

There's no escaping the lessons relationships are supposed to teach us. So as long as you are up for learning, rather than just being hurt when (not if) things go wrong or you get disappointed, I say go for it.

[Jennifer89]

Are you sure it's love? Sometimes I have a hard time telling how I feel about my man, I've had to stop myself from using the L word bc I want to be 100% sure when I do.

 

I understand how you feel, about a month in to my relationship and 4 months after a bad breakup, I was sitting on a lunch break and a coworker asked me how dating was going, I suddenly realized that I really liked this guy and if he were to break up with me that night, I would be upset about it. I was nowhere near thinking about love, but the idea of allowing myself to enjoy someone enough to miss them scared the cr*p out of me!

 

I think you need to make a choice, you can leave him and give yourself more time to heal from past relationships, you may really need to do this and it's better to do now then in a year or two. Or you can choose to take a chance, knowing that you may be heartbroken again, but be willing to live with that bc on the other hand, this could be your happily ever after!

 

But... Remember that he may not really know the meaning of love himself, he may truelly think he's in love with you but in reality he's not. And the same goes for you. One month isn't a long time to be with someone before you fall in love.