Quick Contact Question....

[Sizz813]

Quick Recap: 5 yrs, she broke up w/ me about 6 months ago, has a new b/f, talked about 2 times, seen each other once. Started NC, its been about 2 months. Her b-day was last month, didn't do anything, my bday was last week, she sent me an txt saying happy b-day.

 

Now I didn't reply to the txt for various NC reasons, but now that I think about it, is it rude of me not to acknowledge it? I was thinking that I should give her a call to thank her for wishing me a happy b-day

 

What do you think?

[hockeyboy]

what will you gain?

[boomer1619]

good question hockey, and how are doing right now, in other words, how is your empotional state, about this break up

[if only]

nah don't do it.

 

I'm in same situation as you.

 

with ex for 5 years separated now for 6 months his choice he has new gf. My birthday in Aug he didn't send me any message his was a couple of weeks ago I didn't send any message... difference with my story is I don't want to contact him and have had nc for over 5 months. I feel over him which is why there is no need to phone or any point.

 

You still need lots of NC and when you get to the point were you don't want to contact her you will be over her enough to move on.

 

In know its hard and you cant believe she is doing this to you, but the only way to feel better in yourself is forget her, enjoy being single and what ever you do maintain NC it works or has for me anyways!!!

 

Good luck!!

[didyoumissme]

Quick Recap: 5 yrs, she broke up w/ me about 6 months ago, has a new b/f, talked about 2 times, seen each other once. Started NC, its been about 2 months. Her b-day was last month, didn't do anything, my bday was last week, she sent me an txt saying happy b-day.

 

Now I didn't reply to the txt for various NC reasons, but now that I think about it, is it rude of me not to acknowledge it? I was thinking that I should give her a call to thank her for wishing me a happy b-day

 

What do you think?

If i were you I wouldn't call her.

Just send her a txt back just saying "Thankyou"

[trishcollins]

but now that I think about it, is it rude of me not to acknowledge it?

 

I always think it's ironic that we fear being rude to someone who dumped us

 

I plan on sending bd cards and Xmas cards to my "ex" and his kids and parents. They were a family to me and I don't intend to stop. However, I don't expect anything in return. That way, I won't be disappointed.

[user1481]

I think the biggest question is...how is your mind state. If there is any question on any emotions that may remain (and I'm sure there are) then I wouldnt do anything more then text her back with a simple "thank you". If that!

[taylorb]

my ex boyfriend sent me a card for my birthday. During that time I was in NC. I struggled for a week on whether I should thank him or not.

 

With much trepidation, I ended up shooting him an email telling him "Thankyou, but not to respond because I was still not ready to talk to him."

 

He ended up respecting my wishes. At first, I felt crappy for thanking him. But looking back now I'm really glad I thanked him.

[hockeyboy]

can i ask why you feel happy for thanking him?

[taylorb]

yeah...

 

He wasn't a bad person. It wasn't a horrible break up with fighting, etc. I still think he is decent person. We were always pretty respectful of eachother I guess. thereforeeee, I felt fine saying thank you. But that's all I said. A simple thank you. Nothing more.

[trishcollins]

There is nothing wrong with a quick and polite "thank-you" as long as you are prepared to hear nothing back.

[hockeyboy]

thats understandable. it always feels good to be the bigger person. snapping back usually feels good at first, but then you feel like you've lowered yourself afterwards.

[taylorb]

It was best for me to say "thank you" and please don't respond. Then you are definitely not expecting them to respond. But you know they got the thankyou.

[user1481]

Yeah, as I think about it, I would just say "thank you". Nothing more, nothing less. And dont do it for her, do it for you. I've been in the situation that taylorb was is and I felt like crap not saying anything at all when a similar instance arose. So, it's about how you will feel after time has passed. The last thing we need at this point is to second guess ourselves on one more thing that we should have done. I figure, if you do the more positive thing, you cant lose.

[kungfumaster]

Yah, I agree with everyone here. At the end of our life, when we're old and grey, we will feel better that we thanked the person - with no bad feelings and baggage.

 

A simple acknowledgement goes a long way in your healing process and the others too.

 

Take care.

Hi yaah!

[Sizz813]

Well to answer the question on whether or not I still have feelings for her, the answer is yes. I struggle everyday to go through my daily tasks. she is always on my mind, and it has affected everything in my life. I still have a strong desire to be with her, even though she dumped me for another guy. So I guess the answer to this would be not to call/text her back? I mean for my benefit/NC I guess? What do you think?

[didyoumissme]

Yeah, If it would make you feel better then just send her a txt back saying

"Thankyou" But I wouldn't call or stop by her house or anything like that.

[Sizz813]

By the way, what do you think the txt message means? that she misses me?

[user1481]

Actually I would just go ahead and send something back saying

- Thanks - Just like that! . I wouldnt read to much into the fact that she contacted you first... but that should help your conscience when you repond. If you passed each other in the street and she said Hi, wouldnt you say Hi back? Think of it like that. Nothing more. Thats my opinion though.

[user1481]

But I'm assuming that some time has passed so it might be odd receiving a "thanks". She might respond with " for what?" J/K

[Sizz813]

well it has been a week since the message, so is it too late?

[didyoumissme]

well it has been a week since the message, so is it too late?

The way I look at it, its better late then never.

Say something in the txt simple like " Thanks for the birthday wishes"

[didyoumissme]

But I'm assuming that some time has passed so it might be odd receiving a "thanks". She might respond with " for what?" J/K

Yeah, so maybe something simple like

"thanks for the birthday wishes" would be good.

[didyoumissme]

By the way, what do you think the txt message means? that she misses me?

Maybe, but.. I wouldn't read to much into this.

It just means that she still cares and remember that it was your birthday.

Thats good tho Good Luck with everything

[Sizz813]

Just txt'd her and said 'thanks for the bday wishes. hope you had a nice bday." she CALLED me immediately back (first time she has ever called me since we broke up, it has always been me calling her the couple times we have talked since the break up) I didn't answer, she left a message saying basically thanks, hope you had a good bday, told me that she had an ok bday, hope everything is good. Her voice sounded a little strained? Also i txt'd her at 7 in the morning, I start work at 6 am. She was awake at this time?!? Which is very weird for her. What do you make of all of this. BTW I had it set in stone in my mind that she wasn't going to contact me back, yet alone CALL me back immediately AND leave a somewhat nice message, especially after destroying my heart and leaving me for another guy. Also she ALWAYS called me from her cell phone since she moved in with her new man at his house, but the call was 'restricted' meaning it was from a home line, her home line. maybe things didn't work out between them and she moved back home? Please help me and let me know what you think, and feel free to ask any questions.