Need support, about to break NC!!!

[OnlyAshes]

Ok, if you guys don't know my story here it is: [link removed (warning Long...but skip to the end)

 

So after we talked last (a week ago) I keep thinking of her and that guy STILL.

 

Last night I went to a concert, met a great girl, we hung out all night, she asked me for my number, and said she wanted to call me...and I gave it to her. I feel guilty...WHY!!! I feel like crap today that I actually hung out with her, and gave her my number. So of course I want to call my g/f and say what do you mean you MAY need to recharge your emotions.....

 

needless to say, I'm in MAJOR pain today, and throwing up since 6 this morning over it.....I need help.

[boomer1619]

dont contact her man, i was about to cave in yesterday, but i didnt. You have all the power with the no contact. read my post from yesterday

 

Seriously struggling and about to break NC.

 

You have nothing to feel guilty about, you are doing what you should be doing...Moving on....keep doing it, and you will be better of. dont go off the deep end, and dont become a pest. Just hang tight, relax, and get on with your life. Ill be around to help you out on this forum, and I know others will to.

 

DOnt break the NC

[OnlyAshes]

Thanks boomer...I read your situation...and I hope you are still doing as well as you seem

 

Yeah, I'm home alone all day today...and my ex is going out to a halloween party tonight with the guy she is "hanging out" with. IT JUST KILLS ME!!! That's why I'm struggling with calling her...to remind her that I'm still alive...

 

The whole thing where she said that she may need to recharge her emotions for me threw me way off the charts...cause the closure wasn't there...I was trying to get the closure from her...but it's like she wants me to hang on...

 

I'm totally flipping out right now...sorry guys (you know, walking around with no point, talking to myself...it's BAD today) I know I can't break it, but god it would help....

[boomer1619]

first off, call some friends, or go out and do something today. Make some dad gum plans for tonight where you know your ex wont be.

 

Second, there is no need for closure. Closure is just in your subconscious mind, a tool to get one more little chance at showing your emotions to the other person so that maybe they will feel sorry, and get back with you. There is no need for it. You just got to move on and take care of your self, and keep talking to that new girl. Give her a fair shot at getting to know you. It is what you need to be doing. there is no guilt because you didnt want this, but you gotta go ahead and have fun with yourself, and others.

 

Just hang in there man. you will feel better

[OnlyAshes]

Ok, I didn't break NC last night (with the help of alcohol...which I do not recommend..and I know it can get dangerous). I went out with some friends...but all I could do is get mad at her, and drink more. I KNOW THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY APPROACH.

 

Ok, so I made it another day...but VERY painfully. I had 3 dreams of her which woke me up last night...and of course, I got up at 6 am this morning like clockwork...thinking of her.

 

I've been reading the ALL the NC posts, and trying to figure it out. I realize I am not at the stage for NC yet...is this ok??

 

I tried to play it off with her the last time I saw her, and said I wasn't going to call her, or stop by...but I can't deal with this pain right now.

 

We've been broken up for a month and a half now...but I've still seen her at least once a week since then....I know I can't heal until I do the NC, BUT especially after last time we talked...and her saying all that crap, it's even harder yet.

 

Anything from you guys will help....but I actually feel like I'm going to go crazy..............if I'm not ready is that selfish??? Why can't I be selfish through this?

[nyktovus]

hey man, i totally feel oyu on this,

my ex gf broke a 2.5 year relationship off with me for jesus, she left to go join some school for god.

 

feel good knowing that who your ex left you for is actually TANGIBLE.

 

not only that but realize that there are many of us who have dealt with this or ARE dealign with this.. i just stubbled on a slew of notes she had wrote me and it tore me apart.

 

i too wake up like clockwork thinkin about her and feeling my insides twist thinkin she doesnt want to be with me.

 

but you know what. I'm still breathing. she didn't kill me. she always felt very disappointed with the relationship and loved to make it feel like I did something wrong. ... guess what, there are girls out there that will appreciate me. maybe it will take time to find them but knowing others exsist feels good.

 

not only that but i'm sure YOU, like me, are pretty kool on your own. are you an accersory? like a braclet, with out her arm your nothing? i doubt it.. there many things i put off for her.. i'm gonna start a comic book. I got one album released already.. i think its time for #2. dont you?

 

appreciate the time you spent with her, appreciate the experience you had. but know that there is more to come, with different stories and different people.

 

Nyk.

[OnlyAshes]

I'm sorry guys...I have to break NC. It's Halloween, our favorite holiday together...more so than xmas or even valentines. I feel like I have to wish her a happy one.

 

I'm trying so hard...but damnit, her friends are ignoring me...and I'm just spinning down hard right now. If I don't, I'll drink again...and I'm sick of getting drunk