He isn't ready to hear "I love you" phrase

[PrettyGood]

The man and a woman is dating for already 3 months and he's calling her his "girlfriend." However, when she says "I want to tell you something nice," his first reply is "Oh, please, just don't tell me I LOVE YOU phrase, just please don't." Actually she never told him this phrase, nor he. Why? The answer is simple - he doesn't want to rush with this phrase as he rushed to tell it for his previous girls. He doesn't want to get burn. But does it change something? If you feel in love and can't tell about it just because the man isn't ready to hear it in 3 months?

[HeatherB]

Since he's trying to correct mistakes he made in past relationships, she should support him in that. She should be patient and let him get to know her better. She should find out more about what's blocking him.

 

Sure, she can say whatever she wants. She has every right to tell him she loves him, but what's the point in forcing it on him when he says he doesn't want to hear it yet? That would contradict the deeper meaning of the words "I love you," in my opinion.

 

I'd like to add though, that she shouldn't really consider him her boyfriend yet. Boyfriends and girlfriends openly love each other.

[Furbys]

If this is about you and the guy you are seeing then just leave him.

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like they have to wait until when/if they're both on the same page. Having said that, I would tell him that you don't want to rush other areas of the relationship, such as being intimate, until the both of you know where you stand.

[browneyedgirl36]

I know you've posted this as a sort of "hypothetical" situation, but is this about the guy you posted about a few days ago who was telling you things like, "everything you do bothers me," and all of that stuff? Wasn't he criticizing everything about you, even the things you talk about?

 

I may be remembering this wrong, but...if this is that guy...you are much better off without him.

 

 

You can do better. More and more I'm seeing people -- women AND men -- putting up with disrespectful, awful behavior from their boyfriends/girlfriends, and I'm befuddled. Why don't people think they can do better? Why would they rather be in ANY relationship, even if it's awful, than be single? I'm puzzled by this, really.

[HeatherB]

I agree, browneyedgirl. It's like there are no boundaries or limits or standards. Just a bunch of gross, messy attempts to guess what to do to make them love you or keep them from leaving. One person plays the role of a disapproving jerk while the other person puts on a song and dance show to try to get their interest.

 

Has nothing to do with elationships. You can't be in a real relationship if you refuse to grow a backbone...or show respect...or be vulnerable...a million things that just aren't happening.

[browneyedgirl36]

I agree, browneyedgirl. It's like there are no boundaries or limits or standards. Just a bunch of gross, messy attempts to guess what to do to make them love you or keep them from leaving. One person plays the role of a disapproving jerk while the other person puts on a song and dance show to try to get their interest.

 

Has nothing to do with elationships. You can't be in a real relationship if you refuse to grow a backbone...or show respect...or be vulnerable...a million things that just aren't happening.

 

I agree 100%. I remember being in one relationship and feeling as if I were some kind of trained seal in the circus or something -- clapping my little flippers together and constantly asking, "Is this good enough? Is THIS good enough?" YUCK. When I think about it, I feel ill --all the twisting myself like a pretzel, going out of my way to make someone happy who never EVER was going to be. When I think of it now, I can't believe I did it, and for as long as I did.

 

When I see others doing it, it makes me sad. Healthy relationships are NOT like this. They don't even remotely resemble this. At least once a day, I look up at the sky and say to the higher power/universe/whatever, "THANK YOU. Thank you for that NOT working out. Thank you for saving me from what could have turned into a really terrible relationship."