Broken up, jobless, injured and depressed.

[junebug123]

I just need some hope right now, because i couldn't care about the job or the girl, or being depressed to be honest. Everything is crashing down on me really hard and i knew this would happen because its my pattern. This is honestly why i am fvcking scared to be successful or happy ever, every-time things are going good, something bad will happen. but rather than just handling it like a man, i get out of control and start a chain of events which i am unaware of and unable to control which starts messing everything up.

 

I think it started with me going to this kids birthday in the city, i had drinks met this girl got laid, been making a lot of money at my job, been in really good shape, been happy for once in a long time. then got into a fight with the girl, which cause me to get stressed at my job, which caused me to fight with her more, which caused me to make a mistake at my job and get fired, which caused me to over exercise to relieve stress, which caused me to pull my hamstring so bad that i can't ride a bike (which is how i make a living), which cause me to break up with the girl, which cause me to get depressed, which caused me to check in with reality and realize that this is my pattern where every 6 to 8 months i have to rebuild what i destroyed in 2 weeks.

 

Does anyone else have this problem because the only thing i am managing to do right, is go to school, thank god i haven't given up on that.

 

here is my question, should i have been going to therapy this entire time knowing that i am not in control of my moods. Maybe so, but i think sometimes i am so cocky that i can get away with being normal for once and then this happens.

 

I know things will not always be like this, but i have hit a really low point right now and it is really hard to feel like everything is going to be okay, or that everything will be back to normal when i have been reduced to this state where my only friend is this damn computer right now.

[junebug123]

crap i should have put this in the breaking up section, it doesn't matter really i feel like i am looking for pity anyways when i read it

[Angel Irulan]

I hope you know how smart you are to realize that something is hurting you and that this is your pattern. So many people never see that. Therapy might help you stop doing this. You make the women part of it sound like you had sex with her really fast. Try not to move so quickly with this next time. I see a lot of what happened as negative emotions spilling over into the workplace. I'm here if you need me!

Angel

[junebug123]

thank you, and yeah i am very compulsive when it comes to sex, i usually don't date unless it is a factor to be honest. i think somewhere along the road, i got dumped by someone for not having sex soon enough (when i was in my teens) and ever since then i have made it a habit. maybe it has become a bad one at that, it is hard knowing what women want because i find myself playing guessing games. it is the stress of being with someone which always kills me thou; sometimes i feel like i am one of the few people out there who get very attached very quickly.

 

maybe women go through it too, but they are very good at hiding it and playing coy. sometimes they are shy about their feelings and other times their interest is so preoccupied by their own little world. if i knew how to read body language and social situations i would last longer in these dating trails, but it is so trivial to me because all i want is someone who wants to be with me without the games or formalities.

[iamkaylee]

It's good you recognize what's happened and the domino effect. Patterns are hard to break but you've got a start on it. Now you need to learn how to recognize this while it's happening and cut it off before you start snowballing again. Therapy or maybe anger management might help. It really sounds like you need to find some better coping skills for stress and impulse control.

 

Jumping right into sex isn't going to give you a lasting relationship. That takes time to build and you have to have someone compatable in a lot more ways than just in the bedroom. It sounds like you want something more than just a superficial thing. What is important to *you*? What do you value in a relationship, want from the other person and what are you willing to give to them? You have to know yourself and what you want in order to find that really special mate. If your core values are different, it's not going to work.

 

Take care of the hamstring and you'll get back to work soon enough. Take it slower in the girl department. You'll be alright.

[junebug123]

Take care of the hamstring and you'll get back to work soon enough. Take it slower in the girl department. You'll be alright.

 

Thanks, i am feeling a lot better all ready