Breaking-up and meeting someone new

[Nikki28]

Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 4 years! we were very close and very attached to one another emotionally. Throughout the relationship he cheated on me for reasons i still dont know he says it was because of my past. He was a virgin when i met him and i was his first everything! he had a hard time with the fact that he wasnt my first. He also throughout the relationship said he would move in with me and make a commitment to me and then would change his mind at the last minute. well i finally got fed up with all of it and told him if he wouldnt make some kind of commitment that it was over. I stayed with him after he cheated which was hard but i loved him. It seems like if he loved me he would make a commitment! anyways i have met someone new a great guy! but of course im still not over my ex and i dont know what to do! i dont want to lose this new guy because he is a great guy but i dont know what to tell him. It's hard to picture myself with anyone but my ex because we had such a strong connection. My ex still wants to remain talking but i dont see the point. I know he just isnt ready for a commitment and maybe its bad timing or maybe we just werent meant to be. when i ended it he refused to say goodbye and told me he just wanted to be in denial about it. He wouldnt even talk about the break-up! he is hurting but i didnt know what else to do!! i had to care about my own happiness if he didnt by making a commitment. Should i just tell the new guy that i want to take things slow? or should i break it off because im not over my ex?

[Cougar_20]

Just tell him that you want to take things very slow. I've just started to date again after breaking up with my girl two months ago, so I know what you are going through.

 

I went out with a girl two weeks ago, had a great time, she was beautiful, smart, funny, and we got along great. But she honestly scared the crap out of me because I told her that I wanted to take things very slow and after I got off work the next she had left 4 text messages and 2 voice mails asking if I wanted to hang out. Pretty much the same thing for the next three or four days. It completely turned me off to her and I pretty much told her I didn't want to see her again. Maybe I was speaking in broken English when I told her that I wanted to take things very very slow!

 

So yeah, just don't rush into anything right now if you're not over your ex. I know im not yet and getting into another relationship so fast would probably be the worst thing in the world for me.

[Finch]

You definitely need to discontinue contact with your ex, because things will not work out with him in the picture in any shape or form.

 

I tried doing exactly what you did. It was in the middle of the summer and I just broke up with my girlfriend in March. Her and I had remained pretty good friends even though we broke up and still continued to even hook up occasionally.

 

Anyway, one night I was hanging out with this new girl that I had met. She was pretty cool and a lot of fun to hang out with. I went to a party with her one night and we ended up hooking up and for some reason my ex found out about it. She flipped out and ruined anything that would have been possible between this girl and I.

 

Now months later I haven't been able to find anybody else who I like and I'm stuck with my ex, who I both love and hate.