Potential First-time splitting Holidays.. thoughts?

[Brady4]

My girlfriend and I are both 26 and have been dating for about 4.5 years. We both live in Chicago, where her family also is. My family lives in Buffalo, NY.

 

We have never split holidays before, but are considering it this year.

 

She is more into the split than I am, because I rarely get to see my family as it is. I also think that because we are not yet engaged that maybe we shouldn't split at all, because there will likely be plenty of time for that in the future.

 

I also know both of our mother's would be devastated if they couldn't see us for one of the holidays.

 

What do you think? Should we be splitting? If not, what's the best way to tell her and her family that maybe we're not ready?

 

Thanks!

[OptomisticGirl]

Why not alternate each year? Her family this Thanksgiving, your family Christmas and then next year vice versa?

[becomingkate]

I like the alternating idea, too.

[Brady4]

We'd definitely go with the alternating approach, once we start doing it.. I guess the question is, when is the right time to start this? As our relationship is a bit mature, should we be splitting already? Or is engagement the appropriate time?

 

There's probably no right answer; I'm just looking for some opinions

[OptomisticGirl]

After 4.5 years I'd want to split the holidays, waiting until engagement just seems useless to me. Why wait? I could see if you were like a year into dating but 4.5 years is plenty of time.

[Seraphim]

What we do is we split the holidays into different days. Mind you our families live within half hour of each other. I see my parents Christmas Day and we see his family Boxing Day. Thanksgiving we see my family the Sunday and his family the Monday.

 

As your families do not live close to each other maybe it is best to split the holidays?

[Brady4]

It seems that everyone is in agreement that I should move forward with some form of splitting holidays. I'm not looking to the conversation with my family telling them I won't be coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, if I decide to go this route. It seems like a much easier conversation to have when I'm actually engaged or married to someone, because it's expected that I will be with them.

[OptomisticGirl]

Well if you alternate they will still see you one of those holidays. The fact is kids grow up and get into relationships and then they have to mingle their traditions with their SO's. When you have kids you may not even see your family on the exact holiday as you'll want to start traditions with your own family.