Why Cant I Let Go?

[Misunderstood_Me]

Im 15 years old and I fell in love with my bestfriend's 22 year old step brother, Josh. Things were going fine for a while, Actually great! But, about a month ago, Josh and his father got into a really big fight and Josh went back to his hometown. (Which is about 2 hours from here). My heart has just crumbled... Nothing has been the same, even my bestfriend has been taking it hard. We have not seen or heard from Josh in almost a month. I dont know what to do. Since then, I've turned to drugs to try to get my mind off of him. I figure that "If I stay f****d up 24/7, then I wont feel the constant pain". I've tried moving on and seeing some one else, but I couldnt. Instead, I ended up hurting him because Im still in love with Josh. I cant even look or think about another guy, All I want is him! But, Now Im worried that he's going to get back to his hometown, start hangin' w/ all his friends again and forget all about us... Forget about me... I dont know if he's ever coming back. I love him so much, I cant let go. Im so confused, and the drugs arnt helping. Im hurtin' so bad...what do I do? Please help, I really need some advice.

[Australia]

Hi,

 

Sorry to hear about the current situation. Before you think of getting back with Josh, you should start to learn to love yourself first. This mean you must get off of drugs and take it from there.

 

Good luck.

[Not_so_sure]

It is just as important to be able to let go of someone as it is to love them in the first place. If you learn that lesson, it will make you a better lover. Holding on to someone that isn't there for you is self-abuse and will make you unattractive and difficult to love. But these words from me and any answers or advice you will get here will be useless as long as you resort to drug use to cope with what you are feeling. You should start by getting rid of them so that you do not even have it in your mind that you can use them again if the going gets too rough. When you are under the influence of drugs, you are not really dealing with the issue that is hurting you. You might feel better for a while because they are a temporary fix or escape from your true feelings, but the problem will still be there when you come down. And using the drugs will give you more problems in the long run. If you need to cry or scream or yell, do it straight. Those things are healing. So are talking and laughing. The drugs are just masking what you need to feel and go through. The fact that you sought some solace here shows that you know there are other ways to cope with your hurt. Make more good choices like that.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

I love the advice and suggestion that not_so_sure gave. That was truly awesome and right to the point. Good job! I would have made the same suggestions. Especially the one about stop taking drugs. You really don't need that.

 

To heal from a relationship it helps to talk to friends and people you really trust. Taking your problem here is one of the options, too. Replies on here might help you understanding better and feeling more comfortable.

 

I hope that you take this all to heart, Misunderstood_me. You have a life ahead of you. A wonderful life for that matter. I hope that you will find a better future soon. Make it happen, it's all about YOU!! You can control your own life and live it to the max! Like Nike says: "Just do it!".

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Turboz]

OK so you've turned to drugs to keep your mind off it 24/7?

 

Well I confess here I've been hitting the Vodka a lot lately ever since being told I would hear from this 34 year old russian I liked who never bothered contacting me despite telling me on the phone she would contact me when she got home to her country.

 

I started hitting the vodka and yes it makes me feel great for a while - assuming I have enough to get that drunk. If I only have 1/2 a bottle then I just get plain miserable. I've tried everything to get over this russian but the fact is because SHE AND the interpreter both told me she would contact me I cannot get her out of my head. It's been a month now and nothing. I have to wait another 6 months until they are back in the country before I can turn up as an extra at one of their shows (and re-assess the situation) and it's hell. Each day is quite literally dragging (and there's 6 months to go). I've thought of suicide, (but then what if she does decide to contact me and I'm dead and can't have the contact?) I've thought of being put in an institution (but then they won't let me have my mobile phone - so what if she does contact me and I can't have my phone?). Either way I am completely screwed at the moment.

 

I even thought about having myself hypnotised to forget about her - But then what if she gets in touch and I cannot remember who she even is?

 

I know it's hard but try to get your mind off it. Leave the drugs alone. If you wanna forget then try alchohol but PLEASE never drugs.

 

-Turboz