What makes someone tease-able?

[Celadon]

So ... it seems like one of the fun things about flirting is that you can tease the other person, and they can tease you, right? Well, I want to know: What makes someone easy to tease?

 

I come off as a pretty serious person, and I am. Only my closest guy friends dare to tease me. But, I'd like to tease and be teased more. It'd be fun! I want people to know I'm okay with teasing; I won't start crying or anything! lol.

 

So two questions for everyone:

 

(1) With the people you tease, what makes them tease-able? How do you know it's okay with them? What should I do to let people know it's okay?

 

(2) Someone once told me I am too harsh when I tease. Like, people think I'm making fun of them instead of *having* fun with them. I don't mean to be unfriendly at all!! How do you tease in a friendly manner?

 

Okay, thanks to anyone who has some thoughts on this! I appreciate it!

[Pyralis]

(1) With the people you tease, what makes them tease-able? How do you know it's okay with them? What should I do to let people know it's okay?

 

I dunno. I guess a person that is typically tease-able is someone who is light hearted and does not take him or herself too seriously. I guess it just depends on the person. I'm not much of a teaser, but I used to tease my online girlfriend all the time and she used to do the same to me. It was great fun! I guess as long as you make it clear at first that your teasing is light hearted and that you make sure not to go too far and hurt anyone's feelings, then it should be okay. What I used to do when we were first getting comfortable with the whole teasing thing was that I made sure to make it clear to her that I was just teasing. I would say things like. "I know, I'm teasing you again, sorry, I couldn't help myself. " Once we got comfortable with the idea of teasing each other it became more natural, and even more fun.

 

(2) Someone once told me I am too harsh when I tease. Like, people think I'm making fun of them instead of *having* fun with them. I don't mean to be unfriendly at all!! How do you tease in a friendly manner?

 

Well, if others think that you are too harsh when you tease then maybe you should tone it down a bit. At least until the person you are teasing gets comfortable with it and realizes that you are just being friendly and that you are not trying to make fun or put them down. Like I said before, if you think that they are getting offended, let them know in a friendly manner that you are just playing around. I think that they should understand. Also, if you are teasing them about something that they may be very sensitive about, I would probably recommend not teasing them about it at all. Even if you are being friendly about it they could end up taking it the wrong way. Again that will depend on the person. You have to try to figure out how far you can take it before you start "stepping on toes."

 

Okay, thanks to anyone who has some thoughts on this! I appreciate it!

 

No problem K8tie, I hope that this helps.

[cassandra]

There is a guy at work that I tease. Well he started it. He kept saying 'hurry up'. I would just smile or give him a funny look. Then as I became more comfortable around him I started teasing him aswell. Now its part of our daily routine. He always says ' Hi trouble.' and I pull a face or say someting smart back. Or the other day he hit me on the arm (not hard) so I hit him back he said 'that's abuse.' and I said 'what child abuse'. And we both started laughing.

 

You just need to think quickly enough, know that you can mess around with the person and try not to over step the boundries. Remember it's all about fun not hurting the other person.

 

*cassandra*

[SomeGuy112]

Well the way I see it there are two kinds of teasing.

 

1) Teasing somebody by telling them they are doing something wrong.

2) Teasing somebody by telling them they are doing something right (more of a flirt in my opinion.

 

If you wanna tease someone like in cassandra's post then what you have to do if first let them know that you can laugh at yourself. No one wants to be the only one laughing when they tease someone. They will feel like they hurt you. Perhaps you can make a joke about yourself or something that relates to you around them to start telling them (whoever you want to tease) that you are teasable. Also you can start teasing them about things they are doing right. For example where as a tease about being slow when someone is slow may be harsh if they don't know you are joking, a tease about being slow when someone is actually fast and knows it can't really be taken wrong.

 

If you want to tease someone the other way then I guess you just have to go for it and they will do it back. Again you might need to refer to yourself. I'm 16 so my method might be very different from yours but I've called myself hot and I've called others hot. Then depending on the person they might start calling you hot. 8)

 

*EDIT*

And when I say I call ppl hot I mean anybody and everybody. It will make them laugh and feel good reguardless unless they think you are being sarcastic so don't sound sarcastic

[Celadon]

Hey, thanks for all the great advice guys (and gal)! This is really helpful. SomeGuy, I can't believe you're only 16; I'm older than you but you have some pretty spot-on observations there. I appreciate the tips! You're so hot!

 

Pyralis, I completely agree -- more than just coming up with a clever way to tease someone, I should let them know I'm only kidding around. Guess I've always thought that being a successful teaser had to do with having the "right" line, when it's more about making sure the other person understands my intentions.

 

Cassandra and SomeGuy, I will definitely think about having a fun attitude. I've mostly stuck with the first kind of teasing (knocking someone down) but I like the other kind too. I'll look for chances to try it out with my friends and co-workers this week. In the meantime, well, happy teasing to you! 8)