Is it really possible to fall back in love if you have fallen out of love due to

[unanimous123]

Hi guys,

 

I would like to ask your opinion if you have experienced falling out of love but fall back in love with your partner after an indefinite amount of time? I love my girlfriend to death. In the past few months, however, we had been bickering about the same issues over and over again that it has become a pattern. Last week, we broke up for around 3 days since I managed to convince her that we can work this out. I didn't beg her or anything...it's just that we live together and we realized that we can't bear to see each other sad and growing apart seems like we are torturing ourselves because we really do care about each other. during the break up..or rather, during the break, we still acted like we did as a couple, aside from her saying that she is tired of the relationship.

 

Despite what she said, I realize she still really love me enough to stay when I told her to delete the pictures from my phone as I couldn't do it (for me that would have served as closure)...and she couldn't do it and finally gave in that we could give this relationship a chance. After a while, though, she told me that she had fallen out of love with me because of the fights that never seem to change, and how she wish we could go back to our old lives together where I was not the jealous and somewhat controlling boyfriend that I am now. Thing is, during the constant fights, I always told her I would change but I really hadn't. I assure you there is no third party involved. I swear that the break serves as a wake up call for me to change my attitude now that is why I am trying to win her back. Knowing her, she is also the type who like to manipulate things so she gets things her way, so I'm thinking there is chance she had said that just so I would really change.

 

We live and been in a relationship for more than a year now. so I guess my question is, is it still possible for her to regain her feelings for me, granted that I really change my attitude and be consistent? Please help...I don't want to lose the love of my life. Any similar experiences?

[iamkaylee]

Yes it is possible. Feelings naturally wax and wane in relationships anyway.

 

If you really want to keep her, you need to start putting some real effort into those changes now, before it really is too late.

 

I'd also suggest you both work on your communication skills. It sounds like they are sorely lacking.

[unanimous123]

Yes it is possible. Feelings naturally wax and wane in relationships anyway.

 

If you really want to keep her, you need to start putting some real effort into those changes now, before it really is too late.

 

I'd also suggest you both work on your communication skills. It sounds like they are sorely lacking.

 

Thanks! Oh, she is the conflict-avoidant type and would rather break up just so I would shut up about it. It's crazy..If I hadn't love this girl so much, I wouldn't have put up with it, but I do... I guess I just have to pick our battles wisely and let go of the things I cannot change.

 

Also, how do I know it's not too late? She has already mentioned the dreaded words that she has fallen out of love with me?

[iamkaylee]

You'll know it's too late when she either boots you out the door or walks out it herself. Until then, there's a chance.

 

And yeah, let go of stuff you can't change. The more you give up trying to control, the more control you actually have.

[Avila]

Sometimes you don't. But I'd say it's over when someone doesn't want to come back to the table. It is definitely possible to fall back in love. But her experience of the relationship has to drastically improve for her to feel good about you and yes, in love with you. It's hard to be 'in love' with someone if you meet a lot of negativity in the relationship. After all, people avoid what doesn't feel good to them.

 

Identify why you fight. Recognize what you have to let go. I'd suggest you see a couples therapist so that you can create an environment where she feels she can be heard.

[unanimous123]

You'll know it's too late when she either boots you out the door or walks out it herself. Until then, there's a chance.

 

And yeah, let go of stuff you can't change. The more you give up trying to control, the more control you actually have.

 

Thanks for giving me hope. It's times like this that I need an outside opinion.

[unanimous123]

Sometimes you don't. But I'd say it's over when someone doesn't want to come back to the table. It is definitely possible to fall back in love. But her experience of the relationship has to drastically improve for her to feel good about you and yes, in love with you. It's hard to be 'in love' with someone if you meet a lot of negativity in the relationship. After all, people avoid what doesn't feel good to them.

 

Identify why you fight. Recognize what you have to let go. I'd suggest you see a couples therapist so that you can create an environment where she feels she can be heard.

 

I know. that is what I made her see, that the reason why she may fall out of love is because we always fight. I've identified why we always fight... now, I just have to be really consistent and do my part and show her.