should i send a message for her birthday?

[nattpanter]

I would do it to be the bigger person. I don`t care about the response, it`s more about making me feel better. Too many people come on here with their own rules and stuff them down your throat like they are feeding a livestock goose. If this is what you want and you expect no response, you can do it for yourself.

[MasterPo]

GUYS do not get me confused! who had the experience of sending a birthday message to their ex when they had a boyfriend at that moment? did you get a good respond?

 

Unfortunately, you have it in your head to do something. Might as well do it like the other poster said, send expensive flowers, hell - write something nice and feel good from you. It will set you back and I'm sure most of us will be here when it hits, probably not as understanding so do what you must. I wish you luck and maybe you will be the fortunate one. I don't think so though.

[sara-pezzini]

but that is the thing, he is not over her and secretly hopes she will come back to him so this will not be about being the bigger person, he is not there yet.....he would have alterior motives...

i agree about all the rules and gaes and crap, i never listen to that either and do what i want, but in this case it is very clear that this is a bad idea!

[Piet]

ok from reading all your posts it has been very clear to me now, thank you guys.

[nattpanter]

Point is..he has high hopes. So there are two outcomes: 1. she is charmed and reconcile/talk to him again. 2. His hope is broken. But the best way to heal is to get them broken over and over again until they aren`t there anymore!

 

It`s a win win in my opinion!

[MasterPo]

I smell troll as well. Ugh

[nattpanter]

So now I am a troll because I go against your advice? People are really narrow-minded on here...

[sara-pezzini]

she is in a new relationship so she will not reconcile with Piet, she will either ignore it totally or tell him to leave her alone and both options will hurt like hell...

and even is she is happy with it, and thanks him and nothing more, then what? she is still with the new guy and Piet will be crushed....to me it is lose lose....best to not do it.. come post here instead on that day......send virtual flowers on here!!

[nattpanter]

What she will do none of us know! Im just saying...he could do it because in the long run it`s a win win for me. But for himself, on a personal level, he should do it to be a bigger person and don`t expect something back. The outcome couldn`t be bad no matter. It`s not exatcly stalking is it?

[markie6]

What you are suggesting is so bizarre, it's as if you are trying to mock the op , I honestly can't tell whether you are being serious or not. I stand corrected if you are indeed being helpful

Well, then he has the option of signing it without his name...maybe just "distant lover" or "yours forever "

So now I am a troll because I go against your advice? People are really narrow-minded on here...

[nattpanter]

I agree...maybe "distant lover" or "yours forever" is over the top and might come accross creepy. Maybe just "hugs" will do That is at least 100% just friendly...

 

It`s a forum, people have different ideas. Im sure he can make up his own mind at the end.

[markie6]

He is a young man , and after all his other thread have highlighted, very mixed up. Your advice doesn't not only seem unhelpful given his story, but as if you are playing some game with him. I am all for different opinions , but the above quote looks like mockery to me

I agree...maybe "distant lover" or "yours forever" is over the top and might come accross creepy. Maybe just "hugs" will do That is at least 100% just friendly...

 

It`s a forum, people have different ideas. Im sure he can make up his own mind at the end.

[nattpanter]

So tell me, how do you sign a birthday card to an ex then???

[Angler]

So tell me, how do you sign a birthday card to an ex then???

 

With invisible ink on invisible paper.

[MasterPo]

Ahh, the list will grow of that I have no doubt.

[nattpanter]

With invisible ink on invisible paper.

 

Ok, skip the card then if that is the big problem!

[Shane Falco]

Yeah, nattpanter is having some fun with this guy. Probably not the best guy to do this to -- pick one who has less emotion riding on things with more of a sense of humor.

[browneyedgirl36]

I would do it to be the bigger person. I don`t care about the response, it`s more about making me feel better. Too many people come on here with their own rules and stuff them down your throat like they are feeding a livestock goose. If this is what you want and you expect no response, you can do it for yourself.

 

The thing is, he EXPECTS a response -- and a positive one -- that's why he's thinking of doing it. He's NOT over her. He's invested in the outcome, and he will feel terrible if she doesn't respond or responds coldly or negatively. This is a time when it's a bad idea. AND, the fact that she already has a new boyfriend makes it an even worse idea.