Im 16, Shes 21

[Andy16]

hey im new here, and i have a problem concerning age gap relationships. I have been talking to a 21 year old girl for months now and i have fallen deeply in love with her, i know she feels the same way as i do but she has a problem with my age, i know all about the fact that i could change over the next few years etc etc but i know my feelings for her are genuine, i havent had a very happy life, not much good really happens to me and i was forced to grow up early when my father died when i was 4, i had to be strong for my mother, and ever since then it seems as if nothing has ever turned out good in my life, i thought this was all going to change until i find out that something as small as a number (my age) could make so much difference to someone, i know she feels exactly the same way about me as i do about her, i love her so much that it hurts me to know that she is considering my age rather than looking at who i am to judge wether we should be together or not. We are best friends, i dont want to ruin that friendship i just want her to be more open minded about us, if theres a chance that there could be more between us then i think we should give it a go, well i guess i just wanted to hear from other people, get their opinions, maybe someone who has been in a similar situation could give me a little advice. Oh i should also mention that we met over the internet, we havent met in person yet as she lives in Sweden and i live in England, i know that there could be nothing between us until we meet, ive known that for the longest time so i have been hellbent on going to see her, since i am in my last year of school here in England i am going to get my GCSE exams out of the way in may and then go see her in june, i know that i am going to like her when i meet her, shes such an amazing person, its just wether she will like me or not and if she sees me for who i am and is not putt off by my age, i dont see why it makes such a difference to people, i understand that you need life experience etc but whats stopping someone from having alot of life experience and being mature at a younger age? i myself believe i am very mature for my age as does everyone i meet and everyone i know. Anyway i have to finish this now or i'll be going on forever i would love to hear everyones opinion on this and advice especially from people who are in/have been in a similar situation to me. Thank you for your time everyone

[usied]

well...one i think meeting ppl on the internet is a little risky in the first place...you can never be too careful with those things people can so easily pretend to be something they are not...but you seem to have genuine feelings for this person...and i mean try meeting her see how things go ...you cant fight feelings as easily if your standing right in front of the person...but who knows this lady could actually be like 31 ... but i mean good luck with everything...if you both are genuinely liking eachothers personalilties...well then things will def spark in person! ill be rootin for ya!!!!

[Andy16]

Thanks for the vote of confidence i know of the risks of meeting people online, i used to be one of those people who didnt understand how you could fall in love with someone over the internet but i realise how its possible now, its because you fall in love with their personality first rather than just their looks like most relationships with people from where you live, and i believe thats why people who meet online have a better chance of a relationship lasting. Anyway i'd like more peoples opinions if possible

[geo_jane]

So you and this girl get along great as friends, you want to have a romantic relationship with her but she is hesitant because of the age difference.

 

If that's correct, I don't blame her. Putting myself in her place for a moment if I may, the difference between 16 and 21 can be huge and isn't the same as say 26 and 31. By many standards around the world she is considered a grown woman and you are a teenager. By that I mean absolutely no disrespect, I'm just stating a fact.

 

Also, she may also be thinking about the appropriateness of the relationship. Will she be able to introduce you to her family and friends as her 16 year old boyfriend? Her friends and family may not find that appropriate at all no matter how mature you are. She may not want to put them or you through that which is very considerate of her. (I'm speaking from personal experience here but I'll spare you my story).

 

At any rate or any age, if she doesn't feel right about having a romatic relationship with you why push the issue? The last thing a woman wants is to feel pressured into having a relationship. If it feels right to her she'll go for it, it if it doesn't she won't, its that simple.

 

Maybe you should consider changing your travel plans in June to include a tour of Europe with a stop in Sweden to visit a good friend.