RomyWhite Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Long story short my ex wanted to hang out (weve remaained friends), i kept turning him down due to a busy schedule, then i told him i could come over saturday but then took it back and said it was too late ( midnight) maybe another time. and he wrote no there wont be another time. then i called becuase i didnt want him to be upset with me and he didnt answer (which he always answers)..Then stupidly i sent 2 texts after that explaining why i couldnt come over, and how "i wanted to" blah blah...ugh now i feel sick and stupid..i dont want him back, i even deleted him from my phone so i wouldnt write and i plan on going complete no contact now. I just feel stupid, i feel like i lowered myself by calling and texting him. I just need some encouraging words Link to comment
markie6 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Ok so the positives you are going to take from this are .... trying to be friends was obviously... you wanting to be friends... and he has shown his true colours.. that isn't how a friend behaves. Passing on the honey trap was a good move. You now know where you stand ... which will help you going forward You have probably hit rock bottom and the only way is now... along a bit.... NO ..its up So waste no more time on him....It might hurt a little now, but long run it will look better keep your chin up ..... Link to comment
osa92 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 its hard to say because you kept turning him down and when you finally said yes, you cancelled again, so I understand why he reacted that way; he may have felt like you were playing with his feelings. I dont know what you both are trying to get out of this relation, but nothing is written on stone, so calm down and wait to see what happens, and in the mean time try to figure out what is it what you really want from him. Good luck! Link to comment
DN Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I am not quite clear what it is he did that was wrong. Link to comment
RomyWhite Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 its like i did want to come over, but then realized that late it probably wasnt the best idea.( i only turned him down twice before and thats because my car was in the shop) So then i called and texted him to appoligize and also offered to get together the next weekend, but he didnt respond to any of the texts or calls. I felt really hurt because we've always been on good terms and so far had a good friendship, then all the sudden he just ignored me. And i could tell in his last text he was mad i wasnt coming over, i dont think its really something to get mad at me over since were not even in a relaationship anymore. Link to comment
DN Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Well, I think this was one of those occasions where 'three strikes and you're out". The car in the shop twice was reasonable but then the third time makes the first two look like excuses. But if you don't want him back it probably doesn't matter anyway. Link to comment
RomyWhite Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 Thats true..i feel bad though, i genuinely did want to hang out. Do i just leave it as is, and wait until he contacts me again (if ever)? In my texts i did apologize for putting him off, and i told him i did want together that night the timing was just wrong. I feel like i have a big hole in me..i wanted to keep our friendship, i just feel really bad now like theres no chance now Link to comment
DN Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I don't think this is an occasion where friendship works. Neither of you is really making the effort to make it work and if you really don't want him back it will just complicate matters. Link to comment
dontblink182 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't think this is an occasion where friendship works. Neither of you is really making the effort to make it work and if you really don't want him back it will just complicate matters. Agree. How long have you guys been broken up? You say you're friends, but what does that mean? Just talking every once in a while or you guys have hung out a few times since the BU? I think maybe he wants to work on things between you guys and may want to get back together. At least that's what it sounds like to me. And I think that you shouldn't let him control you by getting mad when you don't hang out. Its a sticky situation that I feel like you should move on from. Maybe give it a little longer before you try to be friends. I'm friends with most of my exs... We all hang out (no not at the same time, that would be weird haha) and can be good friends because its been at least a few years since we've broken up... Any kind of "friendship" within the first year of a break up is kind of asking for someone to get hurt. Let the no contact thing ride for a while and try to focus on yourself. You'll be ok! Good luck! Link to comment
RomyWhite Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Wow that actually helped alot dontblink182, i agree with alot of what you said. Weve been broken up about 2 months now...we usually go maybe 2 wks without contact and then he or I will text each other around that time. We've hung out maybe 2 or 3 times since the break up. I think thats good advice that i should wait a year or so until we can honestly be just friends, and i do think he still has feelings for me (our break up was mutual) but i probably hurt his ego by turning him down. Ill just continue no contact for now and put the ball in his court. Link to comment
OmgnowayBBQ Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 i kept turning him down due to a busy schedule, then i told him i could come over saturday but then took it back and said it was too late ( midnight) maybe another time. Trying to understand where you are coming from. So you made plans with him previously to hang out on a saturday and come saturday you waited until midnight to break the news that you were no longer wanting to hang out? Ex or Friend or any relationship really anyone would be pissed. If a friend male or female made plans with me then waited until midnight to cancel I'd be pissed too. I may have turned down other plans and put aside other things I would have done or even waited around most of the day for you. Anyhow theres really nothing you should do if you don't not want to salvage any sort of relationship with him friend or otherwise. You apologized and theres nothing left to do. Any decent human being would have apologized, why feel stupid about it? Link to comment
RomyWhite Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Trying to understand where you are coming from. So you made plans with him previously to hang out on a saturday and come saturday you waited until midnight to break the news that you were no longer wanting to hang out? Ex or Friend or any relationship really anyone would be pissed. If a friend male or female made plans with me then waited until midnight to cancel I'd be pissed too. I may have turned down other plans and put aside other things I would have done or even waited around most of the day for you. Anyhow theres really nothing you should do if you don't not want to salvage any sort of relationship with him friend or otherwise. You apologized and theres nothing left to do. Any decent human being would have apologized, why feel stupid about it? ohh no no.he asked saturday if i was coming over and i said ok i can come..then realizing what time it was going to be when he got off work (midnight) i said thats probable too late, we can get together another night or i can come over this weekend. and i did apologize and said i rly wanted to come over just due to timing, the fact he had to be at school early the next day..and the distance i drive to get there..i thought another night wouldve been better Link to comment
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