Shy girl... don´t wanna be shy no mo

[SandyD]

I´m a shy girl who usually relates best to friendly yet shy guys, and I don´t even mind *sometimes* taking the first kiss initiative. Loud guys and guys who try too hard usually make me feel like a deer caught in headlights. I´m usually told that I´m quite serious and thereforeeee "intimidating", and it´s hard for people to figure out how I´m feeling, so they´re a little scared. After they get to know me, they tell me what every shy person probably gets "I thought you were some stuck up snob". And the fact that they call attention to all these personality traits make me even more uncomfortable. The truth is that I´m just shy and I´m so uncomfortable when people tell me they like me, or they miss me, or anything of that nature. I´m fine if we´re just friends, but as soon as things take a more, well, romantic turn, I freeze.

 

I was talking on the phone with a guy friend and he sang me a song he had supposedly written for me. It was really hard for him to do, and I could almost picture how red his cheeks were. Well... I froze. I asked him to go on, and he sang a bit more, then quit and told me he´d sing it to me in person when he sees me. I kept drawing a blank and finally managed to say I liked it. But it was really hard to pull out a reaction from inside of me to let this guy know that I liked it. And so it went with a lot of things he tried to say... I just froze. I couldn´t reciprocate. It felt weird. I almost felt like calling him back to apologize, but I thought I´d make it worse. So here´s hoping I didn´t sound as bad and dull as I thought I did...

 

For some reason it seems fake and very anxiety provoking to let someone know that I care, or that I miss them... even when it´s true and I want to say it. I can picture it in my mind, but then the words will not come out... it´s like there´s a little person inside my throat that blocks my freedom of speech.

 

Is there any chance most guys find shy girls like me charming, or do we just come accross as aloof and uninterested, or worse, uninteresting? What can I do to feel more comfortable with displays of verbal affection?

[hurtbylove]

Don't worry, many of us (ie me) have this problem too. I'm terribly shy, don't have much to say, even if you (girl) give me the fuzzies down in my heart. The more I like someone the worse it is.

 

Practice is how you get better. I used to be terrible talking on the phone. My phone conversations used to be 30 seconds or less. Now I've moved up to 20 minutes, or until someone has to go do something.

 

Just going out there and communicating will help you loads.

And it's cute that you do that.

 

Don't overanalyze things, you're normal and just fine ok?

[SandyD]

Don't overanalyze things, you're normal and just fine ok?

 

Thanks Hurtbylove!!! That´s all I needed to hear!

[AmikeA]

I love shy girls, there are alot of guys who also do. It makes them seem more innocent and I find that very attractive. I hate when girls have more experience than me or will make out at the drop of a hat

[ShySoul]

Shy girls are very attractive. They do have a sense of innocence and a feeling that they wouldn't do anything to hurt you. The feel like the type of girls you can be friends, someone to talk with who will really listen and take an interest in what you have to say.

 

Just realx and be yourself. Eventually you'll get more comforatable and things will be fine. You sound like a great person so don't worry.

[Disoriented]

There is a shy girl I like very much at this timel. Plus, I'm shy myself, Anyway, the only problem is that it is harder for a shy person to talk to another shy person because they don't know what each other are interested in. Hence the problem I have at this time.

[koolaidnovel]

Hey just letting you know I'm the same way sometimes...actually a lot of the time. I'm pretty shy, and a lot of situations can make me uncomfortable...if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'd feel kinda weird too if someone sang a song to me over the phone...in person it'd be awkward too...

 

oh yeah and be happy that you actually have relationships with guys...

 

and about the shyness...if you want to change bad enough, you will by yourself. let it happen on its own... you might have a slight case of social anxiety, maybe you can do what I did and see a psychiatrist and get some medication prescribed to you.

[phantom_]

hey there, being a shy guy myself i do think shy girls can be great, i would just like to give once piece of advice to you. that is, dont be so mysterious or appear distant. because then guys will think youre not interested in them. i know you said you freeze up and cant express yourself correctly but ive been in those shoes many many times and i dont know how, but i found a way to just tell people how i feel now. if i like you ill tell you, if i want to see you again, ill ask you out. no more guessing games. im still shy, its just alot less of an obstacle now.

[AmikeA]

OH SNAP,

 

I forgot to say that you shouldn't be trying to change yourself so much, Your individual personality traits are what make you the person you are. If you truly believe your shyness gets in the way of your day to day life then yes change would be good. But if you just have a hard time expressing yourself around the opposite sex its nothing to sweat over. When you meet the right person you will naturally become comfortavble and less shy around them, thats one way of knowing that they are the right person.