How do i hint to her that i like her

[bettyboop401]

Oh my...I thought this might happen. I hoped it didn't. Listen...all you've got to do is be yourself. It might take time, but you'll show her that you can take it and still move on. If you can help it...don't act differently around her. If she's going to let this effect a good relationship then she's not as great a person as she sounded. Of course it might take a little bit of time.

 

Good Luck hun!

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

thanks heaps for your insight betty, its always appreciated. i am trying to keep the normality which we had before i damaged the friendship. but its not easy. trying to be a friend to someone who to me is more then a friend.

 

but the thing is that there were a few days when she seemed to not want to talk to anyone, i asked her how she was and as anyone would she said she was fine. i know she wasnt.

now only recently she seems to be back to her old self, but. she seems to be her old self when shes around anyone but me. its akward, i feel as though im being shunned. i went to talk to her and we talked for a bit. but i would have to start the conversation, she didnt seem overly interested in talking to me.

shes leaving for xmas and new yrs, do you think no contact in this time period would be a good thing?

i know it would help me get over it a bit, but do you think no contact would only destroy the friendship?

she is the great person that she sounded to be, im just not a good friend, i shouldnt have let this happen. there is only myself to blame.

 

this has happened before with another girl and i have lost a good friend over it. the last time i talked to this other girl was the 27th may, to this day she still wont even acknowledge me with a wave or a simple hello.

[bettyboop401]

Honestly it's probably going to be the best thing having some time apart. It'll let her see that she's getting all awkward over nothing.

 

Don't look at it like you've 'damaged' the friendship. These things happen all the time and people get over it. It's not damaging it at all. There was a post I read where this person asked out a girl, she said no, and after a brief time apart they remain the best of friends. It could have even been in this thread.

 

It's their loss if they're going to make something like this more than it is. I know that it's hard for you to be friends when you want more. However if she still isn't responding and you'd really like to say something, just tell her that you've noticed awkwardness and you'd like her to know that you respect her decision.

 

Hope the holidays are alright for you and you're having a brilliant time!

 

Betty!

[mr sad]

yea, i also think time apart could be a good thing.

i know what your saying but i cant help feel as tho i have damaged the friendship because i feel as tho ive lost a best friend.

i doubt it was this thread where the two stayed best of friends, ive only lost friends over situations like this.

 

you say thats it would be this girl's loss if friendship is lost over this. well to be honest i have as much even more to lose then her. i only have 4 really close friends (she is one of them) and i doubt she would be deeply troubled by the loss of a "friend". if she doesnt respond then i spose ill just have to hit the piss and try to forget about it for a bit (im fine with booze, im not an alco, etc)

 

thanks again betty, your advice is deeply appreciated. many thanks

 

- mr sad

[tbbearcat5]

betty and mr sad-

 

well, I bring more good news...I got a nice little surprise when she invited me to go with her to her roommate's five hours away for new years just before xmas, and I accepted (she might not be able to go now, which sucks, but it's still sweet that she asked me).

 

she told me a week or so ago that she "feels she has growing as a person" and this is very good to hear, and since then she has given me no reason to think otherwise. I wonder if the email I sent her has something to do with her "change". she has also apparently made up with another mutual friend of ours, too.

 

I do have a question ---- she told me she wanted to start over as friends, and that isn't what i'm wondering about, but honestly, asking me to go with her for the new year holiday was totally unexpected. I'm thinking she could be after something more. heck, before she asked me, she greeted me by saying "hey baby doll". but I'm not going to jump the gun. I've always been under the impression, however, that new year's dates aren't usually reserved for "just friends" kinds of things, but I could be wrong. I guess what I am asking is if I am reading too far into this?

 

mr sad-

 

I just think that there is a period of awkwardness right now between you two considering you told her how you feel....no contact would be a good thing, but maybe you could ask her how her new year's went afterwards, just to touch base with her. and let her know that you still care about what goes on in her life. i just think that when the whole feeling of awkwardness passes, you two will be fine. just gotta give it some time.

 

best regards

 

tb

[mr sad]

good to hear about ur good news tb.

i am trying to not think about her but its not something that just stops over night. this is going to take some time.

 

i do intend to try talking to her after the new yr, etc.

but i dont think i will be asking her about her new yr tho. shes gone away for new yr and im staying here. the thing is that i spent last new yr with her and well ... i can honestly say i was happy if only for one night. and yea if i bring up new yr she will ask me how mine was and then will talk about last yrs and yea, ill be back at the start again.

 

but yea, thinking rationally she has blown off many conversations recently. so im in the mindset that i should let her start conversations, etc with me if she wants to talk to me. do u think this is a good thing? it could be in the way that im giving her her space, but then she could see it as me being distant and that im "not talking to her".

how should i go about this? i dont want to be around all the time and not around enough. all input appreciated.

 

thanks again betty and tb, all input is much appreciated. enjoy the new yr ppls

[bettyboop401]

Tb...asking you to spend new years with her (even if other friends are there) is a big step. Personally, I wouldn't ask a guy I wasn't REALLY REALLY close with - either boyf or friend something like that cause anything can happen...even at new years. hehehe. Starting the friendship over might mean that she just doesn't feel like she knows you that well and would like to get to know the real you...from the beginning. I wouldn't worry about it. Things seem to be falling into place.

 

Mr Sad - If you want to say something to her but not ask about her new years...ask her how her trip away was. You don't have to go into last year if you don't want to. If she asks you how your new years was just say 'quiet' cause that means that you don't have to go into where you went out and yada yada.

 

If you want some space the best thing to do is get yourself a little busy. Take a leaf out of her book. A guy I like at the moment was ignoring me and I actually started ignoring him (as best I could...he's gorgeous I have to get my viewing pleasure when I can). Next thing I know he's having normal conversations with me cause he thought I was mad at him or something. If she throws you a wave or a smile or something...reciprocate it. Don't let it go to waste cause that way it could mean that she'll take it as you not liking her anymore. But don't do this for too long if you want to save the friendship. If it doesn't work she could think you're mad at her and she doesn't want to confront you. You could say something like 'gosh I've been so busy lately' to get out of it.

 

Good luck and HAPPY NEW YEAR to you both!! It'll all work out in the end!

 

Betty!

[tbbearcat5]

Tb...asking you to spend new years with her (even if other friends are there) is a big step.

 

Exactly...that is the reason why I was a little surprised about it. It's a big step. Unfortunately, this date didn't happen due to her parents wanting her to stay home. (We were driving to her roommates' four and a half hours away for the get-together) But I was ok with it because her parents have never met me, and also that she wasn't the one that canceled it, her parents did in effect.

 

FYI...she also dropped the "L" word in an email, but I don't think she meant anything by it.

 

But I do agree, I like how things are progressing, even at a friendship type of level. I'll keep ya posted.

 

tb

[mr sad]

betty you said -

Next thing I know he's having normal conversations with me cause he thought I was mad at him or something

 

this doesnt work. if she thinks that im mad at her she will keep her distance, wont try to fix things and just let me be.

 

but you are right, keep busy and dont think about her. and the only real way to do that is to go and crawl back under my rock and do my own thing. if she wants to talk to me then she will and if she doesnt then so be it.

the more i talk to her, the more i embarrass myself and increase the amount of akwardness between us.

 

well thats the update, news yrs was terrible and i dont remember a thing.. i hope your new yrs was better tb and betty

 

thanks again

[Virendra]

I'm a lonely 32 year old male of INDIAN origin from the United Kingdom.

 

A woman of European origin, got to know me at the college course I attend, and later, she even asked for my phone number. She's so pretty and we get on well. I liked her because of her appearance, character, her understanding, closeness of people and knowledge of ethnic minorities - Arab and South Asian (INDIAN/PAKISTANI - to all you ignorant Americans, who think Asians are only oriental and Arabs).

 

She was married to an Algerian man for four years and is already/going through a divorce.

 

But on one night out recently, I was with her and her two friends and I couldn't find no topic of conversation with. Sadly, I was bored that night as I am always. I was even pre-warned earlier, that her friend who I met on a previous night out on Christmas Eve with her, liked me. I was shocked. How could she like me after one meeting I don't know.

 

But later on my last (and possibly my final) night out with her, she told me she couldn't find her Mr Right. I told her, I couldn't find my Mrs Right. I told her that I liked her. At the age of 32, I never had the chance to tell any young woman, my feelings for her. I'm not in love with her or want to get her into bed at all.

 

The worst thing is, I may have scared her off. She even asked me, if I was going to do anything stupid when I was set to drive home. I confess to driving home on the highway at 90 mph but not recklessly.