i don't know if i should ask her out

[John_Simons]

Hey guys,

 

i'm having a hard time contemplating whether i should ask my classmate out. she seems genuinely interested in me, and we are friends... i had this secret crush on her for a while, but i didn't think she thought anything of me until last month, when i impressed... anyways, we were pretty close for the week and i seized the oppotunity to ask her out to coffee and stuff... she gave me her number and it was all going fine. but then things started cooling off and she's treating me like just a friend again... i was going to ask her out but i'm not sure now whether she just thought i was cool to be friends with or she likes me...

 

on one hand i'm thinking i would be rude if i ask her out, because if she doesn't feel the same then it's not cool... i don't want to screw up the friendship; on the other hand i'm thinking maybe i'm just being too shy and not willing to take the risk, and she's shy too... like, maybe she's waiting for me to pop the question before she opens up...

 

i don't know, maybe there's nothing there at all and i'm just thinking into it too much, but i can't be sure... i ask her to do stuff and she's willing but she doesn't invite me to do anything... we get on really well but she always seems to keep a distance... for example, we went to coffee but only because she thought lunch was too expensive... she didn't want to study together because she can't concentrate with other ppl... they seem legitimate excuses but i have a feeling she's trying not to hurt me, and that we're just friends... i'm ok with that but i just felt like there was more! i don't know what happened but i am thinking twice about asking her out now... what should i do?

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

If she gave you her number, it would actually be rude not to take action. Girls who give their number expect somehow to be called.

 

She might simply feel a bit awkward and not know where to stand with you.

 

I suggest you give her some space. Studying together might not be the best way of building complicity... Too serious.

 

Focus on keeping it light and fun. Be confident with her. This is what will make you magnetically attractive to her. If she sees you doubting and hesitating, it's a turn off.

 

She might be shy or be afraid of getting intimate with you. Show her she can trust you and that you will respect her space and needs no matter what. Girls can sometimes be afraid of being pushed in directions they don't want to go.

 

Take the step and say something like: "Coffee 8 pm?"

 

If she says no, don't freak out. Her "excuses" seem genuine. Try again one week later and show her you are not desperatly focused on her.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach