Odd Love Triangle

[GymSweetie]

My exboyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago. He got a new girlfriend immediately. That hurt. He said he wanted to continue to be friends and be there for me while I go thru divorce/sep.

 

Since then, he has clearly continued to flirt with me and send signals that he is still interested in me.

 

I studied body language because I was confused about what his double-talk & mixed messages really meant.

 

Last nite, I responded in kind to his flirting (body language) & he actually verbalized that he knew I was flirting with him. And responded by giving me a hug.

 

He then said that my niece who's 18 yrs younger than me is also a flirt & that it must run in the family. He almost seemed disgusted that we both were pursuing him while he is seeing somebody else. ugh!

 

So, I can't get it off my mind that my niece who has been my confidont is moving in on someone she knows I still have strong feelings for. He probably has been flirting with her also. He is such a flirt!

 

Any advice on how to handle this odd mess?

[geo_jane]

You're right, he is a flirt! So he goes around flirting with girls and gets put off when they flirt back? So does that mean he gets turned on when the shot him down?

If you are going to get back together better tell him to quit it with the flirting.

With your niece, I have a feeling if you just make an off-hand comment that you and this guy are still serious about each other and are maybe getting back together the flirting will stop, at least from her side. But I wouldn't get confrontational about it because it might cause a fight. That would be really awful if you lost your confidant and your niece over a guy!

[DBL]

Maybe your niece wasn't flirting and he just has a big ego.

 

If she is flirting, then you need to put her in her place.

 

DBL

[CarterJonas]

I don't know what this person's motives are! He is either trying to make you jealous or is a player. I myself would try and keep away from this person, I don't think that you need the added hassle at the moment, especially with your seperation. Given time I'm sure you will find someone who deserves you and doesn't play with your mind.

 

goodluck

[GymSweetie]

You all know your stuff!

 

Well, it was a difficult decision but I decided to call niece on it Sat a.m. She adamantly denied flirting with exbf in any way, shape, or form. Said he's not her type (which is true), And, she would never go there, bc she loves me & knows how much I care about him.

 

Just in case she was masking, I pointed out that he seemed disgusted with the whole scenario and that if she were pursuing him & a relationship developed btwn them it would be inappropriate and very hurtful for me. Also, mentioned that he has been touching me & hugging me alot lately & we may eventually get back together (thanx, geo).

 

So, I am left with a question...Why would he try to destroy my support system? My niece has been there for me like you all on this forum.

 

Is he trying to make me Jealous? Yep! Is he trying to come btwn Niece & I? Looks like it to me. Is he a Player? Uh, abosolutely. Does He have a Big Ego? Nope, HUGE!

[geo_jane]

GymSweetie,

Maybe I'm outta line here but...

Are you sure you want to continue to have a relationship with a guy who manipulates you by trying to destroy your support system and isolate you from your family (not a healthy thing for a person to want to do), is egotistical, and a player?

 

I'm sure he has good qualities but with bad qualities like that does it really balance out in the end?

 

Like CarterJonas says, there are better guys out there who are more worthy of your affection.

 

You don't have to answer that and feel free to ignore.