Getting somewhere, or maybe not

[Shake Spear]

Hi everyone, you might or might not remember me and my story, anyways, stuff has happened, and i would like some pespective. We left on very good terms, and near the end, she sent me some very mixed signals, which made me wonder if there was something to salvage. Thankfully i found this site, i got lots of comfort and great advice

 

Now, i don't desperately need her back. If its truly over, then i accept that and will move on. But we had a great connection, and i think it would be a shame to throw that away if there is a chance. I will try and make it as short as possible

 

- Me and my ex broke up late April, it was "kind of" mutual, but if you had to pick a dumper, it would be her.

- Because we were both students, we lived together for yet another month before she moved out, nothing really changed besides us not being "official".

- We did about 6 weeks of NC, then i sent her a text, she sounded very happy to hear from me, and we had a nice chat on the phone

- We had sporadic contact through the summer, talked/texted maybe 2-3 times every two weeks

- I was going back to Uni, so we agreed that i visit her before i went back

- We had a great time together, there was quite a bit of sexual tension there , quite a bit of flirting and "accidental" and not so accidental physical contact. When i left that evening we kissed, not a big kiss, but on the lips, so not a "friend kiss" either i would think

 

Now this may all look nice, but we never really had any serious talk about the RS or anything about getting back together. Also i am not quite sure what to do from here, because to be honest, i am getting a little impatient. Not because i desperately need her back, but because i don't want to "waste my time" chasing shadows when i can go out and have fun and meet other women.

 

So my question is: Should i at some point just ask her if there is something there and tell her how i feel? I know this is generally advised against seeing as i am the dumpee, but i just want to put this behind me one way or the other.

 

Cheers

[jaciej]

Officially you are not together so you are free to pursue whatever avenue you wish, from what I can see she has done nothing to string you along except be friendly.

 

I would put it down to her being friendly and comfortable in your company and not read more into it that what there is. Sexual tension and flirtation does not constitue a relationship. She is probably happy that you are both amicable and comfortable with each other. Personally I would maintain the friendship in its current state.

 

Let her initiate the move since "she" was the dumper.

[MikNomis]

I say keep this up for a few more weeks and if she doesn't bring up the topic by then, bring it up yourself. And don't sleep with her.

[Shake Spear]

Officially you are not together so you are free to pursue whatever avenue you wish, from what I can see she has done nothing to string you along except be friendly.

 

I would put it down to her being friendly and comfortable in your company and not read more into it that what there is. Sexual tension and flirtation does not constitue a relationship. She is probably happy that you are both amicable and comfortable with each other. Personally I would maintain the friendship in its current state.

 

Let her initiate the move since "she" was the dumper.

 

Alright Thank you.

 

Another thing worth mentioning though: She is the kind of girl that loves being "chased". When we first met, i was the one who always pushed things forward, but on the other hand, this situation is quite different. As you pointed out, it may not be wise for me to "make the move". But then again, i want things to move forward

 

Also, so far; i have been very careful with being to forward/direct. For example i have never said i am "available", that i have feelings for her or that i would like us to give it another shot.

[jaciej]

It does not hurt to let her know that she will always have a place in your heart, then the ball will then be firmly in her court.

 

When we like someone badly enough we start seeing/reading into situations that are not there, but to pursue this is taking a big chance... can you take the blow?

[Shake Spear]

It does not hurt to let her know that she will always have a place in your heart, then the ball will then be firmly in her court.

 

When we like someone badly enough we start seeing/reading into situations that are not there, but to pursue this is taking a big chance... can you take the blow?

 

Well, yes. I have come to terms with the fact that we might never get back together. I just don't want to be stuck in this limbo of not knowing, and i also think i would regret it later if i let her slip away and i did nothing.

 

I guess what i want; is to make her know what i feel, without putting any pressure on her