Disappearing from an exes life. Miss or Diss?

[Troubles25]

Just curious..if you disappear from your exes life completely..where they can't see what you are up too. Does this make them miss you? or do they just go about their lives..and the good ol quote "out of sight, out of mind" comes intact?. Anybody have any stories they can share?

[fasterness]

I tried this, and she still tries to contact me every month or 2 months after NC. Although she misses me. There's no romantic connection to her contacting me. It's frustrating and confusing. In an earlier relationship after a strict NC that girl contacted me 2 years later and wanted something again, but I didn't let it go that way.

[maron]

when i disappeared, my exes moved on and it didn't affect me that they did. when they disappeared, it hurt but i moved on. i was completely over those exes. with the exception of one, i don't care if i never hear from the others again, yet i still hear about them from time to time and i don't ask for information about 'em. hah!

 

i'm still working on getting that one ex out of my system. it's not happening "fast enough" but it's goin'. :subdued:

[LillyLooWho]

I think it depends on the specific situation; however, in general I think the exes miss you more than forget you. At first they might not but if you had anything serious, they will miss you. Of course you might not know about it because they might move on but that doesn't mean that they didn't hurt or miss you. Anytime you separate from an emotional connection it is painful even if it is what you really want.

[siegfri333]

All situations are different, all break ups are differet. Even if the ex is not constantly thinking about you, depending on the depth of your relationship, she might still feel a connection with you, even tho she is satisfied with her "new life". It's a residual, passive (since she doesn't actively want to see you) affection.

[kam]

I believe that exes do miss you as well. There are little things that can trigger memories, it kind of works like deja vu.

[PrettyGood]

I don't think they notice if they haven't cared before. I went for the 3 months on holiday once outside my city. I had no internet there and my mobile phone wasn't created for anything more than sms or calls. Guess what? I return after 3 months, i find my inbox full of spam and trash and not a blink from him. He haven't noticed cause he didn't care.

[Your Prince]

If they really care about you, absence will make them miss you. I know ive had times where ive had a mere passing thought of my ex, but once i got over trying to see them or understand why we broke up, I start to be fond of them again.

[Streetbob]

If you had an emotionally invested relationshop and the break up was clean, of course.

I think there would be something psychologically wrong with them (the ex) if they didn’t.

 

I have been in NC for 5 months with one break (an email). I know from a mutual friend that she remenices about the good times and asks about me often.

 

When we broke up it was said that maybe we will be destined to hook up again in the future. Until then, I’m staying deep in NC.

 

SB

[Avila]

I think they do. A couple of weeks after the BU my ex contacted me because he couldn't get me out of his head. He still dithered though and i told him there was no way we would be friends. A week after that he jumped straight into a rebound so that makes it pretty obvious. I've completely cut him out of my life but we were each others best friends so it's not unlikely that i'll hear from him again.

 

It does depend on the situation though.

[Streetbob]

I think they do. A couple of weeks after the BU my ex contacted me because he couldn't get me out of his head. He still dithered though and i told him there was no way we would be friends. A week after that he jumped straight into a rebound so that makes it pretty obvious. I've completely cut him out of my life but we were each others best friends so it's not unlikely that i'll hear from him again.

 

It does depend on the situation though.

 

Life has a habit of surprising us Avila.

Sometimes people are so desperate and needy that they dive straight back into the first available relationship.

 

I broke NC once and my ex was very friendly and said something like "I couldn't stand the thought of never speaking to you again".

Never is a long time, but I guess as time goes by, contacting just becomes irrelevant.

 

SB

[SoulSilver]

The only reason I don't "miss" most of my exes is because somewhere along the way , they did a few things that made me see them in a very bad light , they either changed , or hurt me to the point where I decided they aren't worth it anymore . so anytime their name comes to my head I remember exactly why I don't want them anymore . and I only look at them as a teaching experience , with no intention to EVER talk to them again...

 

Which is why I always reccomend people to leave a break up in a somewhat mutual way . without dragging it for too long , you can show them that you care , and say sorry if you did something wrong , but then let go , avoiding doing stupid mistakes that will push them farther away , or make your ex annoyed at you . this way your good times together will shine when they think of you now that you are not around . maybe enough to try and work things out when some time passes .

 

But most of us can't just leave it to be and we just mess up that chance... like , about a year ago , I was in a relationship with someone that started going downhill , but it ended in a "good way" we met and she said she was confused and needs space . and she cried infront of me , told me that she loves me , and we ended up kissing before we said goodbye . I immideatly went no contact and started working on myself . and this was a really good starting point for us to get back together , right? well , it could be . but we messed it up so badly ... S

 

he went on more rebounds than I wanted to know about , made out with a girl , changed for the worst . started drinking , and smoking too . and me? I couldn't stop talking to our mutual friends about the breakup , and the more they knew I still love her and I can't believe the way she acts now , the farther she allowed herself to drift away . I even blocked her at some point because I couldn't take it anymore . and this made her really mad . so when I tried contacting her eventually when my emotions became stable . it ended with her cussing me . I wrote her a clousure letter , that she replied to in a very disrespectful way , and months later , after I truly got sick of her , she for some reason kept trying to contact me once in a while . but I became so disgusted by her now that I just don't care anymore , and funny thing is she is now spreading a roumor to people that I tried to abuse ehr sexually , just unbeliavable . hard to believe we used to be so close once ... I sometimes wonder if all those things that happened in between wouldn't happen , if we would be together today .

[Coconut Twin]

I disappeared off the radar and they contacted me 4 months down the line. I didn't disappear for them though, I did it for my own sanity and wellbeing.

[Zero71]

Well when I first attempted to put NC into place let just say my ex gf didn't take it too well. She had a tough time letting go despite having a BF. She would tell me that she didn't want to get back together yet she acted like she didn't want to let me go either. Whether it's because she still secretly wanted me deep down or she has attachment issues the girl selfishly still wanted me around. She left me alone for 2 months and folded again. I eventually decided just do LC. Of course I do hope she can be my woman again. I'm currently in a stronger position than I was pre-NC.

 

I guess it depends on how much the ex really loves you that determines if they miss you. I think those who reach out despite your wishes probably still have the hots for you deep down. Those who just disappear for good probably just think it's best to move on and let the past stay in the past.