i need a womans perspective please

[ice7990]

i really need a womans perspective on this one.

 

its been 7 years since they broke up and now she starts to develope feelings again for him. from everything that her friends have told me, he wont take care of her son as well as i did cause he is japanese. that she doesnt like dating japanese men and that her ex has been back in japan for over 7 now and prob changed alot since the time they were going out. when they were going out, she didnt have a child and now things will be very different.

 

if things dont work out and her son isnt happy or she can see how he has changed and remember that it was him that cheated on her and left her, will she think about the happiness that we had, the way i always made her feel special and how happy her son is with me. will she remember the love that was there and how much i still love her now. do these even come to play and do women realize that happiness when things dont work out?? wat im trying to ask is, will she come back to me when things dont work out or go looking for another. the thing i know about her is that she told me that isnt the type to go looking cause she has her son's happiness to worry about. wat do you ladies think???

[lazyrunnerz]

I can't tell you that she'll come back to you, especially not knowing more background. What I can say is that we totally and completely realize that we left something we love sometimes. Sometimes we get out there and go what the hell was I thinking no one else can ever measure up to him. Now is that to say that she will do that? I don't know. If she's moving all the way to Japan for him then I wouldn't think so. I would try and move on and if she comes back if you still want her go for it. Sorry I can't be more helpful, I've got a lot of studying to do.

[ice7990]

actually, i moved to japan for her. she already lives here. she is japanese. i keep thinking that it was maybe pressure that drove her away and made her have feelings for him again. the pressure of getting married to me. she knew that my visa is about to expire and that her parents kept asking her when is she going to marry me. i know that might all change cause i am trying to get my visa extended. if this happens, then i know there wont be that pressure anymore. its just that from where i am sitting, i can see all the strikes against this guy and hoping that it will come into play and maybe she will be able to see it too. i mean, he may have been the love of her life in the past and she truly did love him for the 5 years that they went out but he was the one who left her for another woman while they were going out. he may not have actually slept with her, i dont know, but he did find someone and started seeing her while they went out after they broke up the first time and she tried so hard to get back. she later had to set him free.

 

but the strikes i am talking about now is that he lives in another city from where she is, about 4 hours by bullet train, he has met her son once but when they first me, he told her that the son doesnt even look like him and was worried about how other ppl might think. her father doesnt like him because of how he hurt her so badly. he is japanese and she told me that she doesnt like to date japanese men cause of how they think and now that he has been back here for over 7 years, he prob has changed alot since the time they were going out and settling back in the japanese way. they met while they were both living in hawaii. her friends tell me that he prob wont take care of her son and love him as well as i did cause thats how japanese men are, esp towards a son that isnt even his. she has always told me that she doesnt want to live in japan and that she wants to raise her son in another country, and knows that i can move anywhere cause im not a japanese citizen but canadian.

 

7 years is a long time to be apart and i know that she has changed alot as well, since i have met her. that this might come into play here and that it wont be as if they were going out again. and she has a child this time around. that maybe she is trying to get something back that is only in the past. and her friends have told me that she hasnt done anything yet about these feelings cause she isnt ready yet, with all that work and stress she has. she told me that she cant take me back and her heart cant accept my feelings cause she has feelings for the ex. i keep hoping that she is still confused and doesnt really know wat she wants, but she knows how i feel and how i love her and her son very much.