Hardtimes Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 As miserable as everythig has been and despite the big hole in my heart ive managed to go nc for 10 days and not even touch alcohol, i wanted to face this head on and not try to numb the pain. I hurt everyday and cry everynight but i have taken care of myself, ive been gymmin it everyday, eating so well, and most of all kept ur with my personal grooming. These things empower me i feel im tellin myself subconsciously that i lOve myself again, everythings been so hard and i just wanted to document my progress here, i cant wait to not feel this pain anymore its so unbearable Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Awesome for you! You ARE treating yourself with love and kindness by willing to face your pain head on and taking good care of yourself. Link to comment
Hardtimes Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 Ty cheet! I feel when we get dumped we lose control of lots of things i think pampering and bein the best we can be is the best way of regaining control. If im gonna get dumped, i may cry privately everyday but by god i will never ever show people that my ex has caused me to forget about myself, i wont give up on myself because she doesnt want to be with me, what happens if the next gf comes around? I hafta be mentally and physically sharp, all i want is for the pain to subside but i kno deepdown im doin everything i can to expedite this Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I agree, hun. We tend to feel like there's nothing we have control over. You go from being in a mutual relationship to one person having the say in "It's over". No one ever has the capacity to take away our sense of worth, though. It may seem like and feel like it, but WE own it and it's up to us and us only to build upon it when it feels like it's been shattered. Be super proud of yourself and hold tightly to this mindset, it's going to serve you well. Link to comment
StandingProud Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Spot on, Hardtimes... Work on yourself so you'll be ready for that next special person in your life. Link to comment
lorelaijones Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 That's really great that you are keepin up with your personal health and growth. You are doing exactly what you need to do to get yourself healed. It is also good to allow yourself to feel the pain, don't feel guilty about being sad sometimes. You'll be ok, for sure you're on the right path. Luck! Link to comment
NiceGuyUK Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Good for you! I'm sure lots of people will read this thread and be inspired! Link to comment
tness Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Have been sober for 17 days, and it feels good. So just keep drinking non alcohol. I understand perfectly why you stay away from drinking. It makes NC so much easyer Link to comment
Moggs Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 Good for you HT and everyone else who have faced NC completely sober, you are an inspiration... coming from one who has allowed two many glasses of wine numb the pain somewhat... but is IS only temporary and I have been in so much danger of doing something silly regarding contacting the ex...,. youve inspired me to go on the wagon too thanks! Link to comment
Hardtimes Posted July 24, 2012 Author Share Posted July 24, 2012 Guys its hard, it really is, i was literally cryin like a toddler in my car and im a grown man, but its part of the pricess and the first step to wellness...im so lonely and i miss her but thats all shes getting at this point id rather die than contact her, she broke up with me im devastated but the only chance in this lifetime wed ever have contact again is because she showed up at my doorstep, id rather be hurt for ever than rob myself of dignity and pride, cry like a baby in ur rooms, w trusted friends but folks never ever how these dumpers were weak coz truthfully the fact that were in this forum is proof that we love ourselves and will do everything to stop hurting Link to comment
Moggs Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 im so with you HT !!! when I was suddenly excommunicated ( dumped via text and then refusal to talk) I laid my card on the table, I expressed my feelings, sent a rather pathetic poem ( gawd awful but heartfelt at the time), attempted to call and attempted to gain one visitation right all to no avail.... so Im done, dignity must now be preserved..... and like you say above, I miss my ex and Im lonely, but the only contact that's ever going to happen is going to have to come from him now. I've moved past the I must be a terrible person stage to bad luck, you miss out on me now. I'ts time to love myself, sounds arrogant but we have to take care of ourselves, only then can we be ready to move on and love again... Link to comment
tness Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 im so with you HT !!! when I was suddenly excommunicated ( dumped via text and then refusal to talk) I laid my card on the table, I expressed my feelings, sent a rather pathetic poem ( gawd awful but heartfelt at the time), attempted to call and attempted to gain one visitation right all to no avail.... so Im done, dignity must now be preserved..... and like you say above, I miss my ex and Im lonely, but the only contact that's ever going to happen is going to have to come from him now. I've moved past the I must be a terrible person stage to bad luck, you miss out on me now. I'ts time to love myself, sounds arrogant but we have to take care of ourselves, only then can we be ready to move on and love again... I also laid every card on the table, I even put more cards than there actually was. But nothing worked. Stone mask didn't even twitch. I have written so much that It could have filled a book with 1000 pages. Nothing worked. I cried, I begged, I tried to convince her, I tried to go to therapist to make a better me (I'm still going, but that's for my own well being) I will never contact her again. My pride is somewhere growing, I hope that's a positive sign. But you know, hope is a strong mechanism in us humans, so I have this quiet prays inside my head when I'm trying to sleep at night Link to comment
tness Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 Guys its hard, it really is, i was literally cryin like a toddler in my car and im a grown man, but its part of the pricess and the first step to wellness...im so lonely and i miss her but thats all shes getting at this point id rather die than contact her, she broke up with me im devastated but the only chance in this lifetime wed ever have contact again is because she showed up at my doorstep, id rather be hurt for ever than rob myself of dignity and pride, cry like a baby in ur rooms, w trusted friends but folks never ever how these dumpers were weak coz truthfully the fact that were in this forum is proof that we love ourselves and will do everything to stop hurting I'm also a grown man, and I have cried almost everyday since the breakup (feb 2012) This BU struck me like a torpedo right in my chest. I feel the same, I will not contact her, but I have this problem. We still own an apartment together. So how we will sort that out I'm not sure. She thinks that I'm much better, but I'm not Link to comment
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