shud i come out?

[spaggle]

ok i reckon im bi, not gay as i like flirting with guys and having fun with them, but i see myself in a more loving relationship if its girl, girl. i dont know if i shud tell people at my new school, some of them already know as one other of the girls is. but also i dont know whether to tell people at a local club i go to. this "club" means the world to me, and it is my career. If people took it the wrong way and hated me for it, my life will have ended. also shud i come out to my parents? i think there homophobic so....., btw ive never done anything with a girl not even kissed one, but its hard to find out if i am bi, if i dont tell anyone, and if i tell someone then everyone will prob find out, and then knowing my luck it will turn out im not bi. so wat shud i do?

[Cadence308]

I can't really give you any advice on whether or not you should come out right now or not. That is really up to you and your circumstances and it really sounds like you have some things to figure out before you do come out. You are just barely coming out to yourself. It's also important to realize that sexuality occurs on a kind of scale with different levels of attraction and that our attractions can change at different points in our lives. It is not uncommon for someone who is first realizing they have same sex attractions to say they are bi or come out as bi, but many do end up being gay or lesbian or at least identifying that way. Maybe there's something about being bi that is more acceptable, in general, since you are not totally rejecting men or the "status quo." For that reason it may be easier for people to be bi when they first come out instead of gay.

 

I thought I was bi and still do in some ways, but the more I think about it, the more that I think I'm actually a lesbian. I haven't really came out to anyone, yet. I did hint around to 2 friends and told a 3rd friend that I was bi-curious. I did tell a lot of my friends about this older woman whom I think has a crush on me, which is true just to see what my friends would say. I didn't tell them that I also had a crush on her. Many of my friends were saying things like, "Tell her you're straight. Make sure she knows you like men." When they are said things like that then it is making it really tough to come out. You might want to make up a story about someone to your friends and tell them you think this person is lesbian and seems to have a crush on you and make up some reasons why. This would give you the chance to see how your friends would respond. It also would give you an idea what they might say if you came out to them. If they respond like my friends did, then that means that they will probably assume that you have a crush on them because that is one generalization made about gay people.

 

Let me know if this helped you.

[Cadence308]

I can't really give you any advice on whether or not you should come out right now or not. That is really up to you and your circumstances and it really sounds like you have some things to figure out before you do come out. You are just barely coming out to yourself. It's also important to realize that sexuality occurs on a kind of scale with different levels of attraction and that our attractions can change at different points in our lives. It is not uncommon for someone who is first realizing they have same sex attractions to say they are bi or come out as bi, but many do end up being gay or lesbian or at least identifying that way. Maybe there's something about being bi that is more acceptable, in general, since you are not totally rejecting men or the "status quo." For that reason it may be easier for people to be bi when they first come out instead of gay.

 

I thought I was bi and still do in some ways, but the more I think about it, the more that I think I'm actually a lesbian. I haven't really came out to anyone, yet. I did hint around to 2 friends and told a 3rd friend that I was bi-curious. I did tell a lot of my friends about this older woman whom I think has a crush on me, which is true just to see what my friends would say. I didn't tell them that I also had a crush on her. Many of my friends were saying things like, "Tell her you're straight. Make sure she knows you like men." When they are said things like that then it is making it really tough to come out. You might want to make up a story about someone to your friends and tell them you think this person is lesbian and seems to have a crush on you and make up some reasons why. This would give you the chance to see how your friends would respond. It also would give you an idea what they might say if you came out to them. If they respond like my friends did, then that means that they will probably assume that you have a crush on them because that is one generalization made about gay people.

 

Let me know if this helped you.

[EmptySoul]

Hey. I consider myself bi, but I haven't done anything sexual with a female. I've told my mother this, haven't really discussed it with my father. A lot of people at my school found out b/c my friend and I decided we didn't care what people thought, and we'd talk about it whether people were around or not. Some people started saying it was gross (mostly girls) and a lot of guys thought it was great and wanted to watch us. Stuff like that really got on my nerves, but it comes with the territory.

 

That's all I can really tell you. Either you're prepared to handle people's reations, questions, and opinions, or you're not.

 

Be who you are, nothing less, nothing more.

 

Empty

[cheer_up]

if you aren't ready for people to turn against you then don't. come out when you feel physically and emotionally ready