She said she just wants to be friends

[lost_one]

My GF and I broke up about 6 weeks ago and we had very little contact the first 4 weeks or so. The last 2 weeks we have been talking on the phone every day.

 

She told me Saturday she just wanted to be really good friends, I thought it would be hard for me because I still have feelings for her. She wanted to breakup and I wanted to stay with her.

 

She called me on Sunday and ask me if she could come over to my place and talk, and I said yes. She got to my place and we started talking and then she kissed me it was a passionate kiss to (French kiss) so I pulled away from her and ask what she was doing well she didn't really answer me so I just let it go and then she left.

 

Well she came over again tonight and we were sitting on the couch and we started talking again she then went and got a drink from the kitchen and when she came back in she sat on my lap and gave me another one of them kisses and I kissed her back we started kissing each other it really started getting quite hot and then I just stopped.

 

I explained to her that I was having problems with what was going on. She just told me it was hard for her to stop kissing me when I kiss her like that and she couldn't help it. Then she said she would call me in the morning and she left.

 

I am really confused on what this woman wants she tells me she just wants to be friends and noting more she actually told me she was thinking of starting to date other people.

 

I can't figure out what she wants with me. Does she want to get romantically involved with me again? or does she really just want to be friends?

 

I really could use some input on this, if anyone has any suggestions at all I would love to hear them

 

Thanks

[Samuraixbob]

My ex and I did that too... It made things bad. I suggest you back off. Stop letting her use you and still be single. If she wants to be single she cant have you too.

Its bad for you too, because it'll mess with your emotions. It'll make you guys start to tear apart from eachother.

[Vert]

Ah yes, the dreaded "just want to be friends" routine after a breakup. As guys, we can't be just a friend with our ex's... at least not until a really long while after the break. My ex-gf said "I don't want you to wait for me, but I want to be friends" and all she was trying to do was make her guilt less for breaking up with me. I think it helps our ex-gf's think that they are doing the right thing -- they can keep their "friend" with them and go looking for a new guy. The classis "have your cake and eat it too" scenario

 

I agree with bob. Don't let a girl use you like this. You are either her safety net or her personal reaffirment of whether or not it was a good decision to break up with you. Either way it makes her feel better while keeping you in a hole.

[OldGuy]

I don't know why women do this.

 

Many years ago I had the "just be friends" thing done to me and I saw my daughter do it to a guy she dated. I talked to her about it and she seemed to really think this would work, that they could keep the friendship and let the rest go. She was really hurt when the guy said no a breakup was the end of it.

 

Well, it may work for women, but I have never known a guy it worked for. I reallly don't see how you can move the scale of intimaticy back, certainly not suddenly; be lovers one day and "just friends" the next.

 

In this case it sounds like she is having a hard time letting it go to. You might try asking her if she wants to reconsider, maybe find out why she wanted to end it anyway, offer to give it another try. If that does not work, then the best thing for you, and really the most honest thing to do, is to tell her you love her and you can't "just be friends" with someone you love. If its over, its over. And then don't see her again.

[mnuttster]

yea i am having the same problems with my ex, she keeps telling me that she "misses me so much that its hard to let me go sometimes" and that she "wants to sleep next to me again, make love to me again, hold me again" and all this stuff. but when i ask her if we can get back together she says "she cant right now, she is hurting too much and that she needs me to give her time" i am stuck because she says this but at the same time she is seeing this other guy that i guess she is crazy about and has been sorta seeing for the last month. the thing is that she said she needed to find herself cuz she was with me since her 2nd week of college and now she is a jr. she wanted to "just date me", but we went from being engaged to just bf/gf then she broke up with me and just wanted to date me, but it was impossible for me to do that. so she says that she cant date me cuz i cant handle it. i know its hard but i just am stuck in the same position a lot of you all are in. i have yet to tell her to just leave me alone because i cant deal with the friendship because of her telling me all this stuff, but i see everyday that it would be a better option because if she really wants to be with me, she will realize that and come back to me, but if she doesnt than she lost a great person from her life (because i know that i am an amazing guy and that it is her loss from her life because i treated her so well and she has lost friends over it because they couldnt believe she would drop such a great guy) but if anyone has any advice please help or if you have gone though the same situation i would appreciate anything. but everyone be strong and keep the faith, everything will be ok someday

[Luminous]

Hey this girl wants her cake and to eat it as well!.Go out and date and have you when she wants hmmm.

Trouble is she broke up with you and left you feeling awful and then pulls this one.If you think you can handle being sex buddies but date other women then go on but for gods sake don`t put your life on hold waiting for the answer that you`ll never get from her.Trust me i`ve been there and its not nice.Remind yourself not to ask `wheres this going` if she puts her tongue down your throat.

Go out with your mates,meet new women,you`re not just this womans back up plan!