Should I wait or is it really over?

[alittleoverlife]

I stumbled on this site somehow while doing some research from school and as I was reading through the posts, I thought it might be a good idea to see what people think about my situation. I've gotten a lot of advice, but I think it would be cool to get someone's unbiased opinion (or as unbiased as it can be since the info they base their opinions on are biased toward me since I am writing it) and just to see what others think.

 

Anyway, my ex and I had been going out for 1 ½ years before she decided to break up with me. We began as the typical "high school sweethearts." We met senior year and continued our relationship from there. The relationship was incredible from the first moment we spent time together. It was like we were meant to find one another, and everything went so well. She loved my family, and my family loved her. I loved her family and they loved me. We really were perfect for eachother and never fought a single second. We were such lovers back then.

 

This is probably going to send me into a relapse, but I guess getting other answers will be worth it. So, we went to college together (I chose to go there for her) and that became the highlight of our relationship. We spent every night together, and I loved having her there to take care of. It was great to let her fall asleep in my arms and I would softly run my fingers through her hair and tuck her in… blah blah I'm really getting off on a tangent there. So everything was perfect, we were inseparable, and still we had yet to have a fight (which might have been a sign of doom?). So when school ended for me I went back home early and she stayed for a bit longer. It was the longest we were apart and she called me at least a hundred times a day. So when she got home for the summer everything went extremely well… until later. We shared the same group of friends, and so that was cool, except not really. See, we worked different schedules, and so we didn't see much of eachother except late at night or when she got off work and I was going to work. Anyway, there was this guy in this group who told my ex that he was in love with her. It made me uncomfortable since I couldn't be there to see what he was up to, but I trusted her and she told me nothing was up and that I was the only one she loved. That was crap. So, behind my back, she began to hang out only with her best friend and this guy, which made me really uncomfortable since I knew he liked her, and basically they were spending alone time together. Well, from there it went down hill. She eventually asked to take a break and I said yes instead of breaking it off. We began fighting over petty little things. Finally, one night I had had enough and told her she had to either leave me or stop hanging out with him. Well this "confused her, and although we never officially broke up, we were through. To wrap this up, she never wanted me to hang out with her friends and her and we had to "share" friends as it were. One day she told me she cheated on me (b/c we weren't broken up and she was still coming to my house every night) and that she would do anything to make it up to me and to get me back. I told her I needed time, a week later came back, and then she decided she wasn't sure either. So we drifted apart before ever really deciding if our relationship was salvageable or if we were over and why. So my heart was broken, I established NC, and here I am, three months later still wondering what I should be doing. I don't know what happened or if it is only a phase. But I am done because I have waited long enough and pretty much moved on without her, although there are many times when I wonder if we are really through or if I am making a mistake by not talking to her.

 

So that's my weird relationship and I have no idea if that was a break up, who broke up with whom, or anything. Although I have NC in place, so I guess she would have to have broken up with me if she wants to be friends and I don't.

[fmfisdead]

Ick, dude, I'm sorry that happened, and I guess at this point it doesnt matter who broke up with who, its been 3 months since you've talked? thats no good, and she cheated on you? I guess if i were you I would leave behind any hope for her, because If she was going to do that then, i dont even know what else to say. I just know I would leave her behind, sorry if this doesnt help more. pm me anytime.

[aireyc]

Well it appears that you are between the ages of 18 - 21. It sounds to me that once you guys got out in the world more, she saw other possibilities out there and thought it was best if she explored her options. I don't think it has anything to do with you per se, but more she wasn't satisfied with what she knew. She probably feels that you were holding her back, and to her she had to choose between staying safe with your and going out and possibly finding a guy that will add new spice to her life. It's true, this is one of the things that sucks about dating, especially when you're in your late teens, early 20s. Stick in there with the possibility that you may get her back, but certainly don't turn down any other girls in the process.

 

Chris

[alittleoverlife]

she wasn't satisfied with what she knew.

That kinda sucks for me... It really makes me sound like a loser

 

But thanks for the replies... pretty much I guess I should just continue on and not look back even though I hate that... especially for the sheer fact that the relationship was "dropped" more than being "closed." And aireyc, you're probably right. She wants other people I guess, and she doesn't feel the same way for me as I do for her. So I will continue the NC and just know that it is the right thing because we aren't getting back together ever and she needs someone else to satisfy her... sucks to be me like they say. Peace

[darealshady86]

yea man i went through alot of the same things except i went out with mine my junior/senior year.. after a year of going out i found out she cheated on me and was extremely sorry... awell i forgave and it happened again and she still was extremely sorry.. well more stuff happened and she kept wanting to come back, and then would get confused and change her mind and if a girl is doin that to you, its not worth being with her... when you said holding her and runnin ur hand threw her hair, it sounded just like all i ever wanted to do to my ex. i was in love but its been a month, shes been with a guy and im slowly recovering.. itll take time but look at it like its over bc thats the only way youll move on ... if u keep sayin theres hope you will keep gettn depressed.. goodlcuk if ya need help contact me.