Looking for answers

[kjake]

I could really use some advice from those that have had a similar experience as mine. I had been dating my girlfriend for four years and she really became my best friend as well. We worked together and my position was temporary so I knew I would be moving on at some point and hoped that she would follow. I proposed to her about five months ago and caught her by surprise. She could not give me an answer and soon after began therapy to help her through the decision. About two months ago I moved accross the country and soon after we took a break from communicating so that she could focus on and own her decision as she put it. Just yesterday she called and said that while part of her was happy when I proposed, another part was feeling like it wasn't right. While she says that she still loves me she has decided to listen to the part of her heart that doesn't feel quite right and will not follow me effectively ending the relationship.

 

I was surprised and crushed. She is the love o my life and my best friend and I don't understand how she can let go when she still loves me. I feel so alone and lost now and this is intensified by the act that I am in a new place and don't have a solid social network set up yet.

 

As she still loves me do I still hold onto hope or should I just move on and forget about it? Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

[Beec]

My suggestion would not be to give up all hope, but to move on jsut the same. If you are going to change her mind, you must either do it by your absense or by playing to her emotions in such a way as to overcome her reluctance, which will be very difficult from accross the country. What can you do for her over such a distance. If you are missed, maybe she will change her mind, but you would need to cut her off and then try to contact her in some months, if you do not hear from her. Sitting there doing nothing for months is not going to help you. Move on, build a new social network, date, try to keep busy and enjoy yourself. If in a few months, you still want her, then give her a ring and try something.