I'm scared and i would like your help!!

[David83]

I met my girlfriend 2 1/2 years ago, and i love her more than anything in the world, we got engadged a year into our relationship, and just over 2 weeks ago, we bith started to talk about our relationship, and we both decided that their just wasnt something their between us anymore, and i agree, because when we first met we were kissing and doing stuff all the time, but in relationships that always seems to die down abit when you have been together for so long, it doesnt mean you dont love each other any less, so we dicided that their was no how do i put this hmmm.. passion in our relationship, even though we still done stuff, but we seemed to have started to bicker a little bit more lately!

she started a new job in a theatre and she was at work all most everyday, and i didnt get to see her much, but i didnt mind this because the time we shared together when she wasnt off work meant more to me!

 

when she was at college she has some trouble with friends so she didnt have many friends at college so i was her best frend and still am, but now she has started work she has met new female friends and she started to go out places with them on the night, and all of a sudden we seem to have broke up, the week after she was out with her friends on the night, so i thought, she had been upto something hen she was out, but i made her promise with all her heart if she had done anything with anyone, and she said no, and i believe her too because we never lie to each other ever, and i get on very well with her mam so i asked her aswell because she tells her mam everything, and she said no she hasnt too.

 

We always have great cionversations, and we get aloing well, we love the same things, same music and everything, so i dont understand what happened, So we talked 2 weeks ago, and we both decided that we should break up, and she says she needs some time to think about things!

 

We said that we loved each other more than anything in the world, and we always will, because i truly think we are meant to be together, she asked what she would like to do with her ring, and i told her to keep it, because i would love ger to wear it again one day, and she said that she definatly thinks that we will be together again, we just need some time apart to realise how mcuh we actually do love and miss each other!

 

For the first week when we broke up i was either phoning her, emailing her or sending her text messages, and it was always me contacting her, and she said that it wasnt helping because she needs time alone, so now i havent contacted her until now over a weeks later, this has been a very good achivement for me, because i am very upset and heart broken, and i miss her soo....... much, i just want her back, but i know that if i phone her she will start to get mad, because she is asking for space and i will not be giving her it, and if i dont give her what she wants she will start to resent me for it so its been over 2 weeks since we broke up now, and i just keep sitting with my phone beside me, kowing that she will not be contacting me yet, but i dont understand why she isnt??? i dont understand how if two people love each other so much, why they cant be together, and now im am beginning to get scared that she is starting to not love me anymore, and that she doesnt miss me, but another part of me knows that she loves me and misses me, but not contacting me is her way of dealing with things!, my sister and her boyfriend have been going out for nearly 5 years now, and they have broken up 3 times, one of the times it was for a month, and they got back together, and when they did it made them even closer than they were before!, i hope this happens with me!, because i miss her so much, and i get very upset, i just want to know how she is feeling, even if she sent me a message saying 'hi' ide be very happy then ide know she was thinking of me!

 

Can onyone on here help me, and give me some tips on what i can do, without her getting mad? do you think that leaving her to contact me when she is ready is the best thing to do? i know its hard for me to do but im gonna have to be strong arent i??

 

and is the saying true that absense makes the heart grow fonder?? and are their any people on here who have broken up with their gf's/bf's and got back together again?? if so does it really bring you closer? i hope it does, we are both going to university ini september, we both agreed when we broke up, we will definatly contact each other when we get their and meet each other and see how things go!, but i dont think i can wait till september to see her again!, i just want her back really bad, i cant watch some programs on the tv that we used to watch without getting upset, i cant listen to our favourite bands without getting upset, so as you can tell i am pretty heart boken, and not knowing how she is feeling is making it worse!

 

sorry this was so long, but i wouls appreciate your help! thank you oh and i forgot to say that i am 19 and she is 18, 20 and 19 this year! I'm David and her name is Lisa!, i hope someone can help me or at least give me hope!

[Santorini]

hello there,

 

I understand your situation. Before, my ex bf broke up with me, he said he need time to be alone too. And i felt very afraid, i was afraid i will lose him forever. I couldn't control myself and i kept calling him, sending him message and he was mad. He said i didn't give him any space.

 

So i suggest u not to find your girlfriend. If she want to call you, she will call u, right ? if she love u so much as how u love her, she must find u back, right ? if she doesn't love u so much now, it's useless for u to keep contacting her.

 

You know everything is possible in this world, everything is changing, even human's mind and character. She is working now, she meet more people, she has more experiences. Maybe her thinking has changed already. Maybe she is not the one in the past anymore. Maybe what she need is not the same as before. So u have to prepare for the worst. She has changed!

 

But there is another possibility. Maybe she really need some space to refresh herself, to make up her mind. You know we always need space for a long-term relationship. We always have to think if our partner is suitable for us or do we really love our partners so much ? we always need space.

 

I m not sure for the reason because i don't know your girlfriend. But from what u've said, i think your girlfriend has changed. Maybe she is tired in this relationship, or maybe she become different from the past after she goes out to work. You know jobs always change people's mind.

 

Anyway, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Don't keep finding her if she says she need space. otherwise, she would think that u are troublesome. So, just wait for her and prepare for the worst. If she is yours, she must be yours someday.

 

Anything u can reply my msg, i will try my best to help u, good luck

[DealingWithIt]

I know its hard for you to hear it but you should give her the space she wants. Do not call, email or even send her text messages. If you have the urge to do so just do something to keep you occupied. For the meantime, concentrate on yourself...hang out with your friends, find a new hobby, etc. I know most people say that but its the only way to keep you mind of her.

 

I've left my ex alone for about two months. Believe me it was hard fighting the urge to pick up the phone and give him a call...but I didn't. I was surprise when he called me. I was glad to hear that he missed me.

 

Maybe its true what they say about absense making the hear grow fonder.

 

Good luck and stay strong!

[David83]

So did you get back with your ex after he called you? if yes, did it make you both stronger?, because ive never been in this position before, i was in another 2 year relationship before this one, and i never fealt nothing like this when we broke up, because i knew then that their was no chance of getting back together but do you know when you get that feeling that somehting will become of something?, ive just got this feeling that this is not the end of us, but as people keep saying to me, if you are meant to be together and you truly are soulmates, you will be back together at some point, and if not then it was never meant to be, but i try and forget about the last part!

All i would like to know is what she is feeling!! if she is missing me and if she still loves me, but as i said before ive got this feeling that she feeling exactly the same way as me!, i dont think she has changed i just think that she just needs some time to think things over a bit, what do you think?