Facebook vs. Texting

[victorianrose]

I have read many a time about the texting rule of letting the guy "chase" you (i.e. if he doesn't text back, don't text him again until he does) although sometimes i break the rule (however I never am like "where were you?" just something casual). However, I really don't know what to do regarding this situation. This guy and I really like one another, we have been texting a lot and even talked on the phone for almost 3 hours a couple of nights ago. He even invited me to his graduation and the after party and wants to dance with me there. However, yesterday we texted a little in the morning and the rest of the day commenting back and forth on Facebook statuses and photos. Maybe he felt more comfortable using Facebook, after all I got 21 new notifications from where he went through and liked all my photos, and he still likes my new stuff and comments too sometimes. I texted him last night after spending the day on and off Facebook replying to his comments, because I was feeling a little bad and I talked to him about it. He was very understanding, I told him it helped a lot for him to listen to me, he texted back "Yayyy! and I didn't text anything back after that, because after all a little distance is a good thing since he hadn't been texting me earlier right? Question is, should I just not text back at all until he does, even though I hate when people do that to me, and just keep things on Facebook until he texts me again, or should I text something in reply?

[Coily]

Those "texting and dating rules" are all garbage. If you have the urge to text him do so, as long as you aren't smothering they guy.

[pinkelephant]

I usually let the guys initiate at first, but every once in awhile, I will text/call first if I feel like it. 70/30 him/me. IDK if it makes a difference or turns people off, but it doesn't matter since I like being pursued a little so I'm attracting the kind of guys I want.

[fundate]

You two are in constant communication over at least three separate mediums (texts, face book, telephone) so if I were you I wouldn't be too worried about making him chase you. If this was a car chase you two would have your bumpers locked together!

 

Don't listen to silly dating rules like 'don't text him until he replies to your last text' and such. That is some okay advice but with at least three different modes of communication on the go you are going to be spending a lot of time trying to figure out who was the last to text, call, comment, like or whatever. What you are ideally looking for in relationship communication is a 50/50 split in who initiates conversations - both parties are doing their fair share, so to speak. But that is over the long-run, not the short run. What I mean by that is over a 1-week or 1-month period or whatever you will initiate conversations about the same amount of time that he will initiate conversations. Over the short run, one day or three days or whatever, it can be quite uneven depending on what is going on in a person's life.

 

Anyway the big reason right now to wait until he texts before you text back is you don't want to appear that you are dependent or clingy or needy. If he comes back to his phone and sees 200 texts from you over a 1-hr period then he might get scared off! If he sees you sent him a message at noon and then another at 4pm he isn't going to have the same sort of reaction as the 200 texts! Personally I think you guys are already in way too much contact but once you establish a high level it is difficult to scale it back without the other person thinking you don't like them as much.

[RitaTrue]

I usually let the guys initiate at first, but every once in awhile, I will text/call first if I feel like it. 70/30 him/me. IDK if it makes a difference or turns people off, but it doesn't matter since I like being pursued a little so I'm attracting the kind of guys I want.

 

I'm pretty much the same way on this^ also

[DN]

Most men dislike women who play games or who have to be chased - it's tedious and usually not worth the effort. If you want to text him go ahead providing this isn't going on all day with dozens of texts.