Just need to vent...

[muso]

Hi this is my first post here, I just feel like writing this stuff down might help, and any responses might help put things in perspective.

 

In a nutshell I few weeks ago I went out a couple of times with a girl who was a bridesmaid at a mutual friends wedding. She is 23 and I am 33. She initially asked me out online and then we first went for drinks one night, then met for lunch a second time a few days later. About a week later I invited her over to my place for dinner, and she ended up staying over. Everything seemed to be going great.

 

Then the following week she is on-call with her work so can't meet up but will try and make a gig I played on that weekend (I know the on-call part is true at least). She did not show up to the gig, and no text or other contact about it. She had a planned trip overseas for a week straight after that which I knew about before. I texted her the day before just saying 'have a good trip' and she texted back saying 'see you when I get back'. A few days into the trip she is on facebook and we have a short chat and she again says 'see you when I get back'.

 

So she is back a few days ago, and I texted her and asked if I could see her again soon. She replies with an invite for me to come around for dinner at her place this week but doesn't know what day and says she'll let me know the next day. Thats 2 days ago now and no communication from her.

 

I am pretty emotionally fragile at the best of times and although this probably doesn't seem like a big deal to others, I feel very depressed right now. I have been single for most of my life and have also just moved into a place where I live alone, so I guess maybe I just igot my hopes up that I might not be so lonely any more. In my head I know she is young and just playing games with me and I am over-reacting and I shouldn't take it so seriously, but I can't help feeling quite devasted by the whole thing right now.

 

Anyway, thats all, thanks if you read this far.

[Capricorn3]

I don't see her playing games in anything you said. She invited you to dinner and said she would let you know when. Wait for her call.

[jimjam07]

If she is worth your time, stick with it. She might be busy as she is on call.

 

But if she isn't worth your time, I reckonmend you "play the field". Go on dating websites.. meet up with new people.. make new friends.

 

The right person is out there, you stop looking and they turn up. Timing and Fate will be there when you need it and want it the most

[mikeca]

Hi Muso,

 

I can definitely relate to your situation. Its an awful feeling to develop feelings for someone and have them reciprocated then suddenly dropped. It's happened to me numerous times (in fact its why I'm back on here as well). And the culprit in my case seems to be I either come on too strong and make myself too available. Now I cant say I know exactly what happened between you two but it might be a good idea to just back off for a bit, although she hasn't said it her actions seems to dictate that she wants space, so honour her wishes and focus on yourself for awhille - do what you want for the next week or so and restrict any conversation between you too - even going as far as not to initiate any conversations for awhile.

 

And while I can't guarantee this will do anything it can help put yourself back in balance and in a not so fragile mindset

 

I am also looking in reading some books to help with my cause, well I havent read it myself yet I heard "No more Mr. Nice guy" by Robert Glover is a good read and is on my list.

 

Welcome to ENA, and take care of yourself.

[muso]

Thanks for your replies... I guess there is nothing I can do is back off and wait, although it isn't much solace to be honest... its difficult when she is on facebook right now and not initiating any kind of chat either... thats life I guess.