Angels & Demons

[solidbunker]

I am a slvt.

I sleep with a different kind of thoughts every night.

In some occasions I even sleep with multiple kind of thoughts. A total mental orgy.

When I wake up,I am so exhausted that I can barely stand up.

Lucky me, I live alone.

I head to the kitchen and get ready for myself the best espresso in the coffee industry. I am so proud of my machine..

Start cup sipping..slowly..wanna taste till the last drop.

Coffee drinking its an art not to be underestimated. I mastered my kissing skills by drinking coffee. Sick, I know.

And then I start to think of new excuses for my boss as why I am late again.

Today I told him I was saving the world. He agreed with me that somebody had to it, so why not me. It makes sense.

On my way up to the office I started thinking of some ENA posts and the horrible pain some people must be going through.

I wonder how long will last them.

For some strange reason, Ho-Chih-Ming came to my mind. Strange.

Yes, I am a highly educated slvt. Got few more surprises of my own.

Don’t get distracted and focus on Ho-Chih-Ming.

A rebel, in all good senses. A humanitarian who shared and felt the pain of his people.

His autobiography in jail would have won him The Nobel Peace Prize, Pulitzer and any other man-made hypocrite prize..if only he would have committed his crimes a bit later on.

One of his two most cruel tortures was the silent treatment and indifference, the same kind most dumpees suffer.

The silent treatment takes two shapes : not sharing valuable information (feelings status) and/or complete silence.

Usually the Dumper wont share his/her true feelings till you are confronted with the break up. Too late.

In your state of shock, and lost, you do nothing but panicking and trying to rationalize the event.

If you dare to seek immediate contact for peace making or closure, you will be met with complete silence.

The kind of silence where you can hear your own agony.

It is so painful that your inner-voice speaks faster than your thoughts. Same inner voice speaking in different time intervals but at the same time.

Total schizophrenia.

There is no reasoning with yourself, you discard all logic and self-value.

But you pursue and hope for clemency, for understanding and compassion. You already gave up on love.

Little you know that you are dealing with a ghost from the past. They are gone.

You are left behind, with a heavy emotional load, still trying to sell them your wonderful life at a discounted prize : your dignity.

Alone, lost, love-deprived and memories-addicted, your life is stuck in an unknown place forsaken by your ex partner.

Ho-Chih-Ming response to the cries of his people ? Indifference.

And indifference is the ultimate discard for human existence.

It means "I don’t see you". We greet others in the morning to acknowledge their presence, a human trait.

And indifference is the total loss of love or empathy for the dumpee. A one way street with no exit and full of emotional worthless baggage.

Does really the Phoenix rise from the ashes ? Only with a will.

Yes, I am slvt, who sleeps with his Angels & Demons every night, a pretty simple case.

[marconi68]

Nice post and i like people who show a softer side too.

 

My ex "didn't do soft".

 

Sorry for ignorrance but please explain slvt. and it's context too. I looked it up - one means ' * * * * ', the other is an Area Sensor for controlling and counting small objects, probably get one at B &Q.

[ManOhMan]

That was beautiful and true in many cases. Thanks for sharing.