Any success stories out there??

[ice7990]

the old ex is japanese but she told me that she doesnt even like japanese men, prob since her ex. and her parents love me. they already gave me their blessing and kept asking her when she is going to marry me. that she should just marry me now and move to canada. even her friends tell me that she doesnt like japanese men and that her ex still think japanese and they are saying that he might not treat her son as well as i did cause he is. they know how much i love him and take care of him and have told her that.

 

and from what her friends tell me, she hasnt hooked up yet and is not ready but they also told me that her ex is waiting but not going to ask her until she is. thats wat im afraid of. im hoping that if i can get my visa soon, that may relieve some of the pressure of marrying me right away and give us more time. im hoping cause i knw pressure had someting to do with it too, even tho she never said it.

[trinitystorm]

ice- i agree- there are pressure from living in Asia that you might not find elsewhere- especially someplace as conservative in many ways like japan. For me, I notice that everytime I step out of the city, I feel like a load has lifted from my shoulders.... but here, everywhere you turn- people are asking you when you get married, your parents and even strangers. My grandfather is 94 and he says that he wants to see me married before he dies! no pressure of course! haha.. Perhaps it is the same for your ex... and perhaps the response was to escape... and that is why she has left? Of course I do not know exactly what happened between you both... So the old bf is hanging around wanting to be with her? And you are waiting to head back to japan to work things out? How long has it been since the breakup? If she is not being responsive -then I think you should continue NC... we do all these things that we think will bring the ex back but it only pushes them away... such as write letters, call constantly- declare your love- say that you will change- that you have changed.... the best thing is to be strong and live your life. Only when you have regained who you are- not your broken self, that you can approach her.

 

my two cents

[ice7990]

im still in japan just waiting for the answer from immigration. im really hoping that everything that i have done and am still doing now will have some affect on what she decides to do or change her feelings some how, even tho i know or heard that once a womans mind and heart is made up, there is no changing it unless something drastic happens. yes, he is just waiting, and so am i. i have kept up the NC unless she starts but i have not talked to her or seen her and just waiting for the results and then tell her wat is happening. i know that everything i write to her or say to her will have no effect and she already knows how i feel and everything i am willing to do, for us now, for her son and our future. i just have to keep on hoping and praying. im the kind of guy who remembers all the special days that we had and the moments. our 1 year anniversary of the day we found out about how we both feel about each other and the day she said i love you to me is coming up this mon. i dont even think she will even think about it or it even has crossed her mind. i remember that day so clearly, the day she told me she loved me and started crying cause she couldnt contain it anymore and didnt know what to do or say anymore and i told her i felt the same way and i have from the beginning but was too scared to say anything. not that day is coming and i cant even say anyting about it. i hate this. and there is nothing i can do.

[trinitystorm]

ice- I don't think that once a woman's mind is made up, that's it... actually it's once a man's mind is made up that's it. But regardless of which is right... people's minds do change.

 

So basically everything depends on her. I am sure she is very confused right now, and probably needs space (which you are giving her). I wish I could say more to help you. But I think even you know that you have to wait til you get your answer from immigration before you make a move.

[ice7990]

i really hope that you are right about a womans mind. at least this will give me alittle more hope. cause i truly love her and i dont want to lose her in my life.

 

like i said, our anniversary is coming up (one of many that i have remembered) and i hope that she thinks about it when the day comes. and remember why she chose me and how we found each other and ourselves. and i know that her parents want her to move to and raise her son in another country outside of japan. i know her mom only wants her to be happy but would still like her to move and her dad just doesnt like the ex. at least with me, they both love me and have accepted me into their family and as a son. i dont think she even sees that either.

[trinitystorm]

hmmmm.... like I said, ppl's minds change. But right now, the harsh reality is that she has called things off. And the best thing for you to do is not dwell on her and hope that things will work out, but be strong- work on yourself. Be the person that she fell in love with at the beginning.... and I think only then there may be a chance....

[ice7990]

thats all i can really do now is change the faults that i know she has mentioned to me. become a better person, for myself, for her and her son. i know that i will never lose the love for her and will always continue to think of her. but all i have now is hope. and hope that she can see the changes in me, even tho her feelings are for someone else. realize what she is doing and hopefully come back to me. and hope that if i get the extension and stay in japan, it will make a dif in her feelings and about us.

 

funny huh...i pray ever nite for her to come back and for God to answer my prayers. just last nite, i decided to send God an email with my prayers hoping it will get to him and that he answers it. just wishfull thinking alot of hope there.

[trinitystorm]

ice- i totally feel for ya dude... I too was praying to God, asking him to give me the strength to get over him... to bring him back to me... to make him happy even if He decides that we were not meant to be.

 

There is nothing wrong with having faith that things will work out for the best.....

[ice7990]

well, today is the day. 1 year ago we told each other how we felt for each other and we became the happiest ppl around. we completed each other that day and found love when we least expected. we didnt know wat was going on and was scared of our feelings but we told each other and became whole and became one.

 

now i celebrate this day alone, thinking of that day as clearly as it was yesterday. remembering every moment we talked and every word that we said. that was the beginning of my happiness and hers as well. now, i hold on to memories and hope for that day to come back again. we both filled the hole that we had in our hearts that day and now, i am left with a hole again. i have given her my heart and she now still holds my heart. i dont even think she knows wat day this is or how important this day is anymore. the thought prob hasnt even crossed her mind since she has no feelings for me anymore. its going to be a very depressing day to feel the way i feel now and not have the one that i love with me to hold and profess me love for her again.

 

 

[ice7990]

a question for the future...ppl change. during the 7 years of her break up with her ex, im hoping that he isnt the same person that she loved from the past and only trying to rekindle something from the past. i guess she cant see that he was the one that broke up and left her, she has feelings for him again.

 

now if things dont work out and she does come back to me realizing it was a mistake, i will marry her and and take her back without a doubt. should i propose to her right away because of how strong my feelings are for her? i know i want to spend the rest of my life with her and she knows how much i love her. i dont want to lose her again and know i want to marry her. is that too much??

[trinitystorm]

the question is IF she comes back to you.... as the for the part about wanting to marry her- that's all fine. I am sure you will know how to handle the situation when and if it arises. But do not get ahead of yourself. The reality is that she is gone.