She was too young

[jessijess]

I'm here mostly to vent so please bare with me. I just got back from the wake of a 26 year old who died of cancer. Why was she taken so young? It's not fair. She was a good person who always had a smile on her face for everyone. Always nice to everyone she met. It's not fair that all the jerks (not the word I really want to use) out there can continue to kill, torture, rape, ect.... & live their lives while my friend is going to be buried tomorrow.

It's not fair that her parents have to bury their oldest child. No parent should have to do that, its just not right. Her friends have to say goodbye to a friend way too soon. Only old people are supposed to die of cancer, not someone who's never gotten to get married or have children. She wasn't given the chance to live her life.

Sandy - I love you & will always have you in my heart. RIP

[PrettyHott]

dont worry. my uncle age 31 died of cancer. non hotchkins limfoma whatever. so dont feel bad. im going thru the same stuff.

[sisterlynch]

You have suffered a loss of a friend and it is a shock to your system. Don't be afraid to feel all the emotions that go with what you are feeling.

 

Try not to feel guilt, which is anger turned inward. That is the hardest emotion to feel. Try not to blame others.

 

Do things for yourself to make yourself healthy. When my dad died a few years ago, I let my health slip so much, that I am embarrassed to think about some of the things that went on during those days.

 

In the end you will get over it and be sure to allow yourself to feel happiness too.

 

Tell yourself little stories like the longer you grieve the less of your own living you are doing.

 

If you feel like crying -- cry. Don't feel like you have to hold in your emotions, because they will all come out whether you acknowledge them or not!

[Gauchori]

I know how you feel. I had a friend that was going to die of cancer as well. She was 15 but she decided to take her life in her own hands and kill herself. It wasen't so long. I think some people remembered posting for help about this topic. So remember... you are not alone. There are more people that knows how you feel. And about the early death... yeah... too early

[sisterlynch]

When something bad happens to someone that we like and can relate to, we feel really bad, and we can take on the roles of those around us that seem there to help us.

 

Just be yourself, walk in your own shoes, and learn how it feels to be you going thru the death of a loved one. You really seem like you are handling it well. Keep things in line and know that everyone isn't going to get cancer and die, they will continue to be there for you, also the lesson is that hopefully she is in a better place.

 

I sometimes feel that we can live again, that we can live on in others.

 

Pray and feel near to her. Feel her love like it is a wave of hot emotion that can roll over you when you need her to be there with you.

 

I once heard that we still have the DNA of all the people that we've ever kissed inside us. If that is true then you know that you can still access her soul if you loved her deeply.

 

Here is a spooky story: The Russians during the cold war did experiments with dying people and the moment of death.

 

They had two cameras set up to try and watch for the rising spirit of people when they died.

 

Death is an ancient hebrew word that means the mist rises up, and so there was a camera that faced a clock and the clock would stop at the moment of death, then a mist would get all over the camera and the clock.

 

As the mist in the first camera was disappearing the mist would reappear in the second camera that was a little higher up!

 

When you pray, think of butterflies going into a flower and taking in necter, to help you view what is happening to her in symbolic terms, that way when ever you see a butterfly, you will remember her and think of her warmly.

[mahlina]

I'm sorry to hear about your pain. It's weird how life works. One minute, your loved one is alive. Next minute, they're gone. You'll never know when the person that you love will walk out of your life....

 

I like Sisterlynch's analogy. I have my own anology as well. I call it the wind. In Catholicism, the wind represents 'spirit.' Whenever I visit my dad's grave, when I first arrive, I feel a light breeze. As I stand there and pray, the breeze gets stronger. That's when I know that my father is there with me in spirit. Everytime I feel that strong wind, I know that it's him. I know that he's made his way back down from heaven to visit, just for that one second in time. It's that very moment that you want to hold onto, just as though they're still alive. Then that breeze leaves you. You're left feeling sad, but tranquil. Whenever you visit your friend, maybe you can use the same anology as well.

 

It's the little things that remind you of the person that you love. Even if it's something as small as a light breeze that gently touches your skin. It's that feeling of serenity in knowing that a part of them still symbollically exists.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Thank you for sharing with us. My heart goes out to you and her family.-Mahlina

[jessijess]

Thanks for all the replies. I wasn't going to go to the church today because I didn't think I'd be able to handle it, but at the wake her ex boyfriend was pretty much my "rock" helping me get thru it. He asked me to come to the church for him so I'm going to help him get thru it. So I'll be there to hold his hand like he did for me last night.

It was just the weirdest thing. Seeing all these people I haven't seen since high school. This isn't the way to have a high school reunion. I don;t know.... Another thing thats bothering me is that she was the 2nd person from her class & our bus to die of cancer already. The first one died when he was only 17. When I saw a class picture with the 2 of them in it, I almost lost it.

[Gauchori]

I understand what you are feeling... I have been through a lot of deaths myself and... I understand... Sorry to hear that you are still down. I hope you feel better

[i_hate_the_world47]

Your friend sounds like she was an amazing person.Dont be sad because she is gone,be happy for what she accomplished while she was here.Look back on the good memories not the bad.I know this may seem impossible but it isnt.I wish you and your friends family the best of luck.God bless.

 

~Meagan~

[hoboken12]

afdsfaf