Need people's feed back on this please!

[Blayzed4Life]

Hey, I'm just curious as to what other people think of age gap friendships.

 

I'm not talking like male, female age gap friendships. I mean like a guy and a guy. I have this one buddy who is only 16 and I am 20 but he is my best friend because we've grown up togeather. I've known him since he was pretty much born I was first friends with his sister who is one year younger then me but as I got older me and him started hanging out.

 

I've been through some rough times in the past and still face rough times now. You can look at my previous posts to get an idea what I am talking about by rough =/, but anyways I always feel like theres something wrong with me being friends wtih a 16 year old even though we've known eachother for along time and get along great.

 

He thinks that there really isnt anything wrong but then again he's also the one thats younger. I know that a younger person hanging out with an older person usually makes them look good infront of their buddies that are there age because it makes them look more mature.

 

But how about for the older person? I always feel like people who know about our friendship (family members, other peers) are making fun of me and so I kind of keep our friendship on the down low if ya know what I mean

 

I feel it also makes it hard for me to make friends my age because I dont really have any other close friends in my age group so if these new guys ever wanted to find out who my friends were and found out that I was friends with a 16 year old would make fun of me. The guys I am referring to are mostly guys at my work I fit in well at work but I am always too affraid to take it to the next level and hang outside of work because then they might find out about me and it will make my work environment very uncomftorable =/.

 

Anyways please I would like as much feed back as I can get because this is something that has bugged me for a very long time and for some reason never thought about asking what other people think.

[under_the_pressure]

Age shouldn't matter in relationships or friendships. Why would you let a friend go because of other people making fun of it? You have grown up together and I'm sure you share a special friend bond.

 

I think it's cool you will be friends with someone 16. Most people your age don't take second looks at 'kids.' And maybe he'll come to a problem in life, and he can ask you, because you've bee through it, instead of facing it on his own.

 

Age gaps don't matter. I think you should stay friends with him and not care what other people think.

 

just my 2 cents.

 

under*

[Blayzed4Life]

Actually what you said is kinda right. I have given him alot of advice of where I went wrong and he has done quite a good job in changing around his life. He use to really bad in school because he sorta copied me, I didnt exactly take school serious and I guess it rubbed off me and onto him. But I told him what I have learned and been through and not to make the same mistakes as me and he has taken my advice quite well. He now takes advanced courses at school and actually shows up to class.

 

The other thing you said about most people my age wouldnt evne give a kid a chance is also correct. I know that if I were to have just met him out somewhere and he was 16 and I was 20 I wouldnt give him a chance. But thats why we are friends because we have grown up togeather and experienced alot togeather and ya we do share a special friendship bonde, and I am saying that I wont abandon him just to fit in with my age group, I'm just asking for other peoples feed back on weather they think it's alittle strange. Which just makes me alot more cautious when I am around people my age or older.

[under_the_pressure]

I don't think it's strange, I think it's pretty friendly. I'm sure people your age, mainly guys, would probably have something to say about it. But, if they were in your position they'd understand. Because of you, he has done better in school and I'm sure he looks up to you.

 

If those guys got something to say, let them. It's really considerate of you, to care. I don't think it's strange. You are going to make a great dad someday.

 

under*

[Mr Mister1]

I don't see a problem with it either, I've got heaps of friends who are twice my age but I get along with them, I don't think they really notice that I'm lots younger than they are. At work a team leader went out for a few drinks with a lot of us "young" people, if anything I think that boosted his credability because he's seen as a friendly person as opposed to a dictator who bosses people around.

[PrettyHott]

if you get along, then stay friends with him. 16 years is a long time, but keep being friends. its kool.

[idontgetit]

i think it's completely normal, plus one needs a broad range of friends. there are certain things some people understand because they're at a certain stage in life, and some can't. i'm very close with my 5th grade teacher (it's been a loooong time since i was in 5th grade). we reconnected a few years back and she's great as a sounding board. i also have friends who are over 50, and one of my closest friends just turned 20 (i'm somewhere in between). it's completely normal and it rounds out your life. gives you more perspectives.

[Ph3n0m3n0n]

Dude.... Its a sick thing to be in a friendship like that, I love it, i'm 17 and I am friends with people alot older then me, older then me and younger then me, I only have a couple or friends the same age as me, I dont get along with people the same age really... or as much as i do with people younger or older..

 

People younger then me look up to me, and it feels good to be a role model for them sometimes, although they are immature at times (not saying im not, i mean common, whos always mature ) but its great to have little buddy's like that.

 

People older then me teach me things, help me out, they have a wider range of knowledge, and I like to learn.... From friends only.. I mean... god.. i'm pathetic at school... I didnt do well at all... I got in trouble alot.. and I just recently quit school because I dont like the way the teachers told me what to do all the time.... Although i know its there job, the teachers here are... hmm.... yeah... you get my drift...

 

Dude... NOTHING wrong with it, its good

 

and im sure alot of the chicks probably think its cute, you hanging with someone 4 years younger... and maybe they might like you and ... "get to know you better" for it... common, you've seen the movie "Big Daddy" havn't you

 

Go on dude, nothing wrong, keep him by your side, it seems like a good friendship

[ruth1978]

i think it's fine about the age gap. when i was 24 i was best friends with a girl who was 16, she was my brother's girlfriend but we did everything together and i never cared what other people thought about it.

i also think that sometimes people are very mature for their age anyhow so even though he's only 16 he may act more like your age.

i wouldn't worry also what work friends think because it has nothing to do with them who you hang around with, not only that but if they're good and true friends they wouldn't have a problem with it.

i'm now 26 and one of my closest friends is 41, but i've never even thought about it being a problem, my friends are all different ages. there's no law stating you have to be friends with people your own age, it's who you become attached and close to, and the ones who are real friends are the ones you stick with regardless of their age.

so i assure you you have nothing to worry about.

[Blayzed4Life]

hey, I really appreciate all the feed back, seems like I have been always looking at it the wrong way and being ashamed of myself. I mean it's not like I've only known him a few years I've known him for over 14 years!