should I trust him?

[youknowwho]

I'm confused. Would somebody please give me some advice??

I've been going out with a man for 5 months. I love him, but...the problem is that he seems to be gay. he's kissed his friend. he's been to a gay bar. sometimes he flirts with his male friend, like shaking hands or touching thigh. he sometimes looks @ athelete-like guys, and says "they're so sexy." Would anyone who is straight go to a gay bar or kiss male friend?? i asked him if he was gay or not so many times, but he said he wasn't gay. what's more, the reason he broke up with ex girlfriend was because she was so worried whether he was gay or not and couldn't trust him anymore. a friend of mine said he was said to be gay in his college. (my friend goes to my boyfriend's same college.) he has a gay friend too. ugh! if he is gay who is jist acting like straight (or maybe bisexual,) what should i do? he never tells me the truth. he's american and I'm romanian. so sometimes i think he just wants to have "fun" with romanian girl, who is new to him. my english is so poor that i can't tell him exactly how i feel sometimes. ugh! what do you guys think about my boyfriend? tell me what you think straightforwardly!

[SwingFox]

Hi youknowwho,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your questions. I am sorry to hear that things with your boyfriend are not going the way you had them planned. I understand that you are worried and confused. Before anything else, I would like to state that I find your English pretty good. At least I understood everything you have written and your situation. I think that is a BIG compliment towards you.

 

My advice towards you is this: how far are you willing to take all this from him. It looks like that you might have reason to worry, especially when he is not telling you how good you look and giving you a feeling of being needed. Eventually it is up to you to make a stand and tell him that you feel being neglected and that you are worried. You decide where it ends, too.

 

Communication leads to a better understanding. My suggestion is that you talk to him and share your concerns towards what he is doing and how that make you feel. Hopefully he'll understand and will grow closer to you. I wish you luck and strength and hope that everything works out well with you.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[cookies]

hey there...

 

it sounds to me as if he is what we call ..."a closeted gay man". There are instances when a man may be gay or bisexual, and afraid of coming out because of how society may view him. I have gay friends, and i respect them for being honest with who they are...but I have NO respect for closeted gay men. It totally discusts me, because it leads women on, and covers up who they really are...

 

IN this situation, this guy is obviously crushing on other men. Its so misleading to be in this kind of situation, but if you honestly feel that he is gay,...just follow ur intuition. Some guys can talk about how fine a woman is all day long, but if hes creepin on the other side...you can easily see through his coverup...without even saying a word or confronting him about it...

 

Dont be fooled, but view it with an open mind however...because little things he will say or do, will define his true character. Personally, i just cant get down with a man that remotely borderlines bisexuality...something about them that just turns me off...

 

cookies

[OrthodoxSDA]

Hey,

Mi se pare ca prietenul tau are doua fete. Insa, sunt unele caracteristici ale baiatilor "gay" care ii dau de gol. Felul cum se imbraca, flul cum vorbesc, gesturile lor, chiar si felul in care merg...deci daca prietenul tau este feminin in oricare dintre aceste domenii, s-ar putea sa fie gay. Insa, pe de alta parte, e foarte posibil sa fie doar un tip foarte sentimental/feminin, nu neaparat gay. Si daca asa este, atunci nu trebuie sa iti faci griji. Oricum, incearca sa ii zici exact ce ai pe suflet, si nu il lasa sa aiba el ultimul cuvant doar pentru ca tu esti Romanca...trebuie sa asculte ce ai tu de zis, mai ales daca sunteti intr-o relatie.

Iti urez mult mult succes!!!

Sper sa nu fie gay!

Ciao!