my ex has feelings for her ex bf again. HELP!!

[ice7990]

we were a couple for a year. she brokeup with me beg. of aug. she would ask me to hang out with a every week or so. then she went to a business trip in sept and stopped all contact. i gave her space and time away from me and then she tells me that she can never take me back. i broke down and i went and talked to her. she told me that she cant be with me anymore cause she has this feeling for her ex from her past again. she tells me that she has no feelings for me anymore. that she cant. when she told me this, she couldnt even look me in the eyes and the whole nite, she never faced me or looked at me when we talked.

 

she tells me how wonderful i have treated her and how a great person i am and all. how i have treated her like a princess all the time and how i always make her feel special. she also tells me how well i treated her son and thanks me for it. she tells me that she can see all the changes in me and all but cant accept my feelings cause she has feelings for this guy.

 

this feelings she has for her ex of 5 years who she has been away from him for 7 years is a one way thing. she doesnt even know if he is seeing anyone right now or even if he still has feelings for her. she has no idea of his availability and that he lives 4 hours away by bullet train, basically a different city from her. she knows that in the past, her ex had this girl that he proposed to and may still be with the girl now, but not married. she hasnt told him how she feels or knows wat his love life is like. he entered her life again recently cause her company hired him to do their webpage and now that the page is done, it could end or something could happen, but she doesnt. she just knows that there are feelings resurfacing again. and this ex is the one that left her for someone else cause he only had feelings for some other woman and so my ex left him so that he can be happy cause he only had feelings for one person and didnt feel for her anymore. the same thing that happened to her is happening to me now and everything that she said that she went thru or did is the same thing i am doing now.

 

i dont have alot of experience in all this but my last relationship, this happened to me already. but in my last one, my ex left me cause she had these feelings for this guy who, like this one, was a one sided. it didnt work out and she came back to me and could see all that has changed with me and wanted me back but i didnt think it would have been right to take her back cause i was interested in someone else at that time. so we remained friends.

 

with my ex now, its happening all over again. i know i have to let her go and wish for her happiness. i know she has feelings for all her ex's and that they still keep in contact, but with me, she tells me that she feels nothing for me now. i dont know wat to think. when we met that nite, i told her that i wanted to just start fresh again and a new beginning. i know i have to let her go and i have. i have tried to move on and i prob will move on. but from my only experience, will she come back to me or think about all that was good in wat we had if she finds out that her ex isnt available anymore? i have told her that i have never known love until i met her and i want to be the man to stand by her and love her and her son. that i love her son as a father does and how much she means to me. we already had her parents blessing and she already referred to me as her fiance to all her friends and relatives. we talked about our future and her sons education, our goals and dreams in life together. we were almost married and i would have married her too but i needed to get stable first and she knew that. and now, its all a dream or a nightmare. selfishly. i can only hope that her ex is not the same person as before, involved or dont feel anything for her anymore, for her to think about wat she just gave up. she even told me that we could still be friends if i wanted to. if given that chance, i would marry her in a second. my mom told me that it could be that she is thinking about her future and that i wasnt stable at the moment, that she is confused and dont really know wat she wants. that she is trying to live in the past. i really dont know.

 

i know i have a long journey ahead of me but i also know i want her in my life. any advice on how a woman would be thnking at times like this and is there a chance?? cause i know i would take her back in a heart beat and i would wait an eternity if i knew that there was still a chance in us getting back together. even tho if she came back knowing that she made a mistake, i would still take her back and marry her cause i know that wat we had deserves a second chance, even tho there were mistakes made. she knows how i feel and how i love her so very much and that i want to start slow in a new relationship.

 

has anyone ever been thru a situation like this or have heard of one that actually ended up in a second chance, and if so, how long did it take for the one to come back to you and what were they thinking at the time??? i know she always told me that she doesnt want to make another mistake in life and then she leaves me for this one way feeling.

 

wat are the chances of her coming back to me??? i mean, this is her ex that cheated on her, lives in a different city and its a one way feeling. her parents dont really like him cause he broke her heart. she has a 4 year old son that i love very much and she knows that i love him and her unconditionally and would do anything for them both. she is 35 and has told me that she is too old to make anymore mistakes in life, even just a a second chance to start a fresh beginning.

[guy40az]

From what you say I would say it's a really good chance she will be coming back to you. It really depends on her ex BF if he is not interested she will be back very soon I find it difficult to believe that she doesn't know if he is interested in her or not most women know this before they leave a relationship, so I would almost bet she has talk to him.

 

Relationships are a funny thing it took mine about 3 months after we officially broke up with me but only a month after she moved out before she wanted me back. So it really depends but I just wouldn't wait to long.

[Smusher]

you have to carry on just like she did when she was meeting you and perhaps you might leave the next girl for the same reason that your ex has now left you. see what I mean? man its all tuff, this growing up we have to do. I know!!! and I knew when i was a kid that being an adult isnt all its cracked up to be!! its like how am i going to survive to be one of thos old grey haired happy people out there? they have loved and lost EVERYTHING! and they , many of them, still manage a smile everyday.

[freeben321]

girls...can't live with em, can't live without em.

 

I dated a girl for over two years, every few months some crap would come up about her ex bf...

 

celebrating a b-day party at a bar with my best friend, a song came on the jukebox, reminded her of him, and she started crying...this was like 8 months of us being together...

 

New years, she saw someone at my party that reminded her of him, flipped out and started crying...

 

times like this, sorry to say, you need to put on those steel toe boots, and get to kickin'...that is, kick her out...if she's not over him, how's she going to be with you....

 

I learned that the hard way...broke my heart when i dumped her, but it was best...and part of me will always love her...but life goes on...

 

 

free