Did I do the right thing today?

[hurtinDude1]

Alright heres the story, my Ex and I got into a huge argument last month on the 28th. She broke up with me the next day because she was tired of my temper and jeolusy and also she wanted just to be single again. Well I did the mistake of begging her, crying, and all that stuff for about 2 weeks. She couldnt even look at me cause of that. After I finally realized that I was just being selfish on my behalf and I was just hurting her even more. I went into NC for about a week, and the day when I broke NC with her, she looked like she missed me a lot. So we started hanging out together and it seemed like she was happy to be around me. She let me hold her and we lay together on my bed. She was happy again to be around me. But when at night, she dont call me, email me, or IM me at all and this past weekend I asked her if I can take her lunch break with her and she said no. I had this feeling that she was very confuse at what she wants. So today, I asked her what does she wants. She didnt say anything, just looked really confused. I asked her if she was happy when we werent together and she just looked really upset and didnt answer me. So I told her that it is better for us to not talk or be together anymore until she makes her choice. She was really upset after I told her that

 

I just want her to be happy whatever if its me in her life or without. Do you guys think think that I did the right thing today? Thanks.

[darealshady86]

ive been through this alot, me and my girlfriend just broke up a week before our year anniversary and she started seeing a guy 3 yrs older then her the day after.. (we are 17) and she called me up the other day sayin she wanted me back and all that n then said she was really confused and didnt know what she wanted. ive tried NC and ive broke it many times.. you've done what is the hardest thing to do but if shes confused about it do you really want to keep going through that back and forth? try to be single and try to be happy, itll take awhile but if its meant to be shell be back.. i think you made the best decision for you and her. its time for me to let her go now to. =-D GoodLuck.

[shockeddismayed]

hurtinDude,

 

I think you did the right thing for two reasons:

 

1) you don't want her to be confused about you... if you are around her when she is confused, she will stay confused. You want her to come back when she is ready... not when you are ready to want her back. Also... if you stick around during this confusion YOU will get confused. That does nobody any good. You know what you want, you've told her that. Now get out of her life until she knows what she wants. If she can't figure it out alone, she won't ever figure it out with you. Besides, her confusion and mixed signals can make you do VERY stupid things. Trust me (and others on the forum) we've all done stupid things when confronted with a confused EX.

 

2) You mentioned your temper and jealousy. You need time alone to deal with these issues... what caused them? Is it her? Or is it something deeper? You need all of YOUR time to figure this out... because if she comes back and you do the same things again, she will bolt faster than you can say sorry.

 

Good luck.... focus on yourself and you will be a stronger person for all of this.

 

S&D

[craigblitz]

I echo the words just passed on by Shocked!! I could have..errr can safe myself a lot of confussion and tension if I just stayed away from the get go. I think I differ with others on the board as I do not believe in complete NC. Some cases it maybe best, but to pick up a call herr or there is not bad. Just do not do the contacting yourself.

 

Work on you.. Get a LIFE now. It seems like yesterday when people on here would tell me the same thing and I was like they don't understand I can't without her.. yadda yddda... Get a Life NOW.

 

The issues she has are hers and the issues you have are yours. She has decided that she wants to work on them alone so now you must do that as well.

 

Good luck with the low days and the peaks and valleys buddy they do go and they do go. The sooner you life for yourself though the better in the long run you will be. Plus when the time does come when she wants to see you again you can avoid major mistakes.